Nesting, Life, and other things....

So....37 weeks. The pic of me is my 37 week belly shot. Nevermind my husband stretching in the background. He's a stretcher. 😜
I tore the whole house apart....that nesting thing took over and I just had to reorganize. I refinished Judah's dresser to match the other boys'. And, since we now have four dressers in the boys' room, we sold the twin over full bunk bed on Craigslist and got a twin over twin at Ikea. Super fun, opened it up, and of course, made room for the dressers.
I also had to take all the books off the shelves and move our furniture around, because, well....it's me. :-)
The last two pictures are just our school board from this morning, marking the first day we've actually done school work in a couple of weeks, due to my crazy nesting projects. And the last one is the amazing smoothie (think dessert) that we had as part of our lunch. It was so good, it was blog worthy. :-)
So, that's a quick little catch up! We are all anxiously awaiting this baby girl!

Two years old!!!

Dear Judah Sean,
You fill our life with so much joy. You are big and burly. You feel emotion quite strongly and make it known. You are learning words everyday, and I love to hear the new things you will say. You are precious and fill our hearts with gladness!!! Your name means "praise God, who is gracious"....and I think that almost everyday since you were born, the kids have given praise to God for you. Soon, you will be the big brother. Even though you are so big and tough, I think you will be kind and gentle with your sister....you are pretty good with Emma's American Girl doll, Kit. ;-)
Judah, we love you so much. Today, like everyday, we are praising our God, who was gracious enough to entrust us with you. Every morning when we bring out our devotional book you say, "God, God!!!" You fold your fingers and say, "Thank you Jesus." You love trying to keep up with the big kids. We pray that you will know this mighty and gracious God....and that your life and your heart would be full of praise to Him!
We love you!
Mommy and Daddy

You know it's bad when....

A) you're greeted with, "Mommy, where are we going?"
To which I respond, "Nowhere, why?"
"Oh, you look fancy." AKA....you got dressed. But, in fairness, my mom did get me 3 new shirts! Which is perfect because I'm too cheap to buy anything at this point, but nothing fits me. :-)

B) In the last post-mentioned trail mix, the kids notice the coconut chips and say, "Wow! Mom is sharing her coconut chips with us!"
Oh man.

This is me...35 weeks, right? Yeah, I think so????? :-)

Oh me, oh my!

Our snack mix today:
Raw almonds, dried apricots, and Trader Joes' Coconut Chips.

Evidently, I'm just a little low on iron. Probably should have kept up with the prenatal vitamins! :-)
So, this little iron-booster is in addition a liquid iron supplement I'm taking. And these coconut chips are probably going to take the win for this pregnancy's craving.
But I read this this morning and found it so lovely:
"The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied." (Proverbs 13:4 ESV)

Thank you Lord, for richly supplying us today. :-)

You might be "Type A" if....

Well... I like to call myself a "reformed type A". But the other day Ezra said:
"Hey Mom! Mom! You remember when I was a baby, and I was allowed to scribble?"
Oh man. I told the kids we will have to have a "scribble day" sometime soon. :-)

Saying "See you later"....

Oh.  Daisy Love.  It is so hard to say good-bye.  We know that it is God's kindness for you to no longer suffer and be in pain...for you to know the fullness of joy that is only truly complete and face to face in the presence of Christ.

But it is still hard.

In many ways, you were our family's first true and deep interaction with grief.  Emma and Caleb (and the little ones) had not known grief, or tasted death up close before you.  I will never, ever be able to express what a beautiful introduction it was.  I know that sounds twisted, or weird.  But truly, I don't think I have ever seen death approached with the same grace, courage, and bravery as you did.  And that is what will mark my children.  They will see that for the one who is in Christ...it is not the same terrifying, dark thing that the world knows.  It is a different thing altogether.  It is passing from the arms of one papa Daddy (and Momma) who loved you so deeply, so rightly, so well...into the arms of one who loves you even more.

How kind... that in the face of Emma's tears, and her saying, "I wish I could have played with Daisy one more time," that I could respond with such confidence and truth, "OH, but you will!!  And when you do, it will be ever so much more fun and free than it ever was!"

Your courage, and your perseverance through pain and suffering marked so many families, including mine.  But your ability to to pass from this life into the next, the way that the Holy Spirit enabled your whole family to give witness and testimony to the Goodness of our God in the face of the greatest pain they have known, the way you have opened all of our eyes to remember that this world truly is not our home.... for these things, and so many more, I am forever grateful.  It is a privilege and an honor to grieve, not as the world grieves, but to grieve nonetheless, for one who is now a part of that great cloud of witnesses...reminding us all to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and to run with perseverance the race marked out for us....fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

We love you Daisy.  Thank you for reminding us that for those who are in Christ, it is not good-bye, but "see you later."

Never Thought I'd See the Day....

My dear, sweet Ezra.  It's not that I don't think you are absolutely brilliant.  Sometimes you are just too smart for your own good. ;-)
But really, I just wasn't sure you would ever sit down and sit still for long enough to learn to read.  There are so many other things to do, you know. ;-)
Just as you have surprised me, since the very moment you entered our home...you still continue to do so.  And so here you are, my "sweet boy", at age 4, reading the last page of your "short a" book.

Thirteen....

A lot can happen in 13 years....
I've learned:
I need the love of the Father, the true Word and Wisdom of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit in me more than I ever realize at any given moment.
I can do nothing on my own, but all things God asks of me through Jesus Christ who gives me strength.
What I thought I knew, I don't really understand. But admitting that is a good starting place to learning.
Marriage is harder than I thought. Part of that is because I am married to a sinner. And I am even more shocked at how much harder I make marriage because I am a sinner.
These little people that have changed me and shaped me so profoundly....well, they keep growing up. And I can't stop it. Now, I know that I wouldn't really want to stop it, per say, but I am still learning to live fully in each moment and savor it and be thankful for it before it is gone. This is a beautiful art....a supernatural work which I pray the Holy Spirit continues to work in me.
Being a wife and a mom requires truck loads of character that I just didn't have. But studying and submitting to God's Word, obeying one step at a time, and being surrounded on every side by little people who are able to bring out the exact weaknesses in me...well....all that really does build some of that character. ;-)

I have been confronted more clearly with my humanity-my weaknesses, my faults, my limitations-in this pregnancy than perhaps ever before. The beauty of it is that I have found God's grace to be more far-reaching, more sustaining, and more powerful than I ever imagined. So perhaps that is what I have learned more than anything in these 13 years....it is God in His kindness that has sustained us, and each year we have ahead will be the same. We need Christ desperately, He is our hope, and we look to Him for all the years ahead.

"Therefore...let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won't become weary and give up." Hebrews 12:1-3

Playing catch up....

I am blogging from my iPad, so I don't have the same abilities I would have on the "real" computer. But at this point, it's kind of now or never. I clearly haven't been keeping up on blogging, which might be okay, except that I won't have the mental capacity to remember much of anything if I don't write it down.
So.... Here's a quick recap of life through pictures:
The first is Emma and Caleb's mosaics as we studied Justinian the Great.
Next- a picture of our breakfast bowls, which everyone around here likes pretty well. Packed with fiber, and yummy fruit...and Mommy's also has some of my new obsession (Trader Joe's Coconut Chips) sprinkled on top. This is a good representation of what our mornings look like, at least a couple of times a week. Except that Judah is usually screaming at the top of his lungs, since he has pretty much given up sleeping after 2am. Big bummer for mom and dad-he clearly didn't consult us on that one. It is one of those seasons. Not sure if its night terrors....or what. But, all of our boys have gone through some sort of sleep issue. So, we have all been a little extra worn out, but we keep plugging away nonetheless.
The next 3 pics are of Emma's sweet little Keepers of the Faith group. Kind of like Girl Scouts, but we do homemaking projects, scripture memory, Bible reading, service projects, etc. This group has been such a blessing to my sweet girl, and to my momma heart. These pictures are from our Cake Decorating night. I recently hosted and taught on nutrition; we had so much fun and made individual gluten-free pizzas. Be. Still. My. Heart. :-)
The next picture is from last weekend, where our goddaughter from China, Isabel, was baptized here in Ojai. We got all the kiddos dressed up and visited Ojai Presbyterian Church, where our dear friends the Pflegings attend. It was so sweet...I don't have a picture of Isabel, but she looked absolutely adorable in her off-white gown. :-) Emma and Anna also wore matching pink skirts, and although I intended to get a picture of them together....well, that didn't happen either. Take my word for it, they were so adorable. Hehe.
The next four pics are of the boys; after church this Sunday we went to Thille Park with the cousins. It was such a beautiful day!!!
And finally, this is me, 30 weeks pregnant. When my midwife told Caleb that the baby should be here within the next 10 Saturdays, I almost fell off my chair. Something just changes when you hear it put that way.
We have been learning, growing....being stretched in many ways. Our current read-aloud is The Hobbit. And I must confess, I am having the hardest time getting into it. The kids all enjoy it, however, and there is not much cuter than a crazy almost 2 year old saying, "Hobbit?" as he looks forward to reading time. (He falls asleep, so no, he's not really listening to the Hobbit. But he does know that it is what we read after Bible reading.)
Emma and Caleb finished up their English curriculum....so I'm trying to decide where we will head next. Emma is almost finished with her math, as well as Noah....so, we'll see what's next for them. Ezra is doing well with Sing, Spell, and is ready to start math, I think.
One day at a time. That's the road we are one right now. :-)
"Take delight in the Lord , and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord . Trust him, and he will help you. Be still in the presence of The Lord, and wait patiently for him to act...(Psalms 37:4, 5, 7 NLT)

Mixtec- Our group project

Last Thursday, Ben and I presented, along with five others from our group, our project that was part of the internship program. It was great!! Or subculture group was the Mixtec. They are an indigenous people group who come from the region of Mixteca, in the state of Oaxaca in Mexico. Because of soil erosion, and other environmental factors, they can no longer produce enough food to provide for their families. So, many have migrated to the United States to work agricultural jobs. There are more than 500,000 people from Oaxaca in the United States, with over 300,000 of them in California. And of those, more than 20,000 Mixtecs live in Ventura County. Oxnard provides many year round opportunities in its fields. However, the Mixtecs do not speak Spanish or English, so many end up being exploited by land owners. They are working the hardest of jobs for the least amount of pay.
Anyhow. This was a fantastic, and eye-opening project. We ended up with 40 pages of information, interviews, observations, mission strategies, and prayer points pertaining to this subculture groups. It was a great experience, and I was so honored to be part of it.

Rejoicing!!!

Monday we had another ultrasound to check on the status of my blood clot. Last time, it was quite thick, dark in the middle (showing fluid), and stretched obvious half of my uterus).
This time.... It was no longer dark in the middle (it's clotting), and it was about 1/4 of the size it had been. Our doctor, who is not the most emotive person in the world even said, "This is pretty significant considering what it was five weeks ago."
He even thinks that we *might* be able to go ahead with a home delivery. This is literally, more than we could have hoped or imagined. We are rejoicing in this miracle. I've been having quite a bit more energy lately, which is lovely. I told Ben that in many ways, for me, it is like the pregnancy is just now beginning. Unfortunately for everyone in my household, this burst of energy has meant reorganizing projects all over the house!! I am just overjoyed that our sweet baby girl is doing well, and I am amazed at God's work on our behalf. :-)

Sensing Jesus- Book Review

Wow! This is a must read for those in ministry....and even those who aren't. :-) I really enjoyed this book by Zack Eswine. The subtitle is: Life and Ministry as a Human Being. The basic premise of the book is that our failure to admit our own struggles, humanity, and limitations actually hinder any attempts to minister, and really slander God in the process.
This is not an "easy read", as in, you most likely won't breeze through this book. There were times when I got a little lost in the author's poetic language, or streams of thought. But it is SO worth the time to deeply ponder these things.
Part One looks at "Exposing Our Temptations", including trying to be every where, fix everything, and know everything. With beautiful personal insight, Mr. Eswine walks through each of these temptations, showing that our very striving to be like God in these ways prevents us from experiencing the supernatural power of Christ, at work in those who would admit their need and dependence upon Him.
Part Two, "Examining Our Mentoring" helps walk through the physical, mental, and emotional patterns that we have learned along the way in our journey. Among my favorites was Chapter Nine, entitled Immediacy: Managing a Jesus Way of Time. Ministry, and life itself, presents many opportunities to take "short cuts" in an effort to produce more, right now! Jesus offers a slower pace. He is content to wait upon the Father.
Overall, I would highly recommend this book. It's implications for ministry are so important-returning to a way of life which follows our Savior, acknowledging our dependence upon Him. With helpful personal examples and useful illustrations, Zack Eswine pours over 20 years of ministry into this helpful book to remind us just how much we need our Savior.

Expectant Waiting...

**I wrote this post before Christmas...but I just got around to posting. Sorry. :-)

Advent.
It is defined by Wikipedia as "a time of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus at Christmas." The term comes from the Latin meaning "coming." "For Christians, the season of Advent anticipates the coming of Christ from two different perspectives. The season offers the opportunity to share in the ancient longing for the coming of the Messiah, and to be alert for his Second Coming." (Quoted from Wikipedia)

During the month of December, we take the month off from our "regular" school and opt for "Holiday School" instead. We have many traditions during this time, but one of my favorites is the advent calendar. Every year, we do a brief overview of the Old Testament, as we see Jesus in each story...waiting expectantly for his coming. We remember the simple and humble coming in Bethlehem. The manger.
And we look forward with great joy...because He is coming again. This year, reading Jotham's Journey alongside and lighting the candles...I found myself on Christmas morning with eyes full of tearful thankfulness. We had been reading and waiting. There was so much anticipation. And even though we knew the ending, we couldn't help but wonder anew at the God who draped Himself in human flesh. Two songs have been my favorite around this time of year. I have written before about "God With Us" by Casting Crowns. The other song is by Chris Rice, and it's called "Welcome to Our World." There are two phrases from that song that I have been meditating on:
"tiny heart whose blood will save us..."
Especially carrying a little one, thinking about this small and tiny heart....and with the complications of the pregnancy...well. This phrase is just so real to me this year. And the other:
"rob our sin and make us holy..."
When you think about that wording... It's almost violent. Rob our sin. That was what our Rescuer had to do. God knows us so well, He knows that our wicked hearts cling to our sin and wickedness as though we need it to live and breathe. It literally took a Savior, willing to drape Himself in flesh and steal the sin that we love so dearly, and then transfer righteousness to us in order for us to see and recognize the beauty of our Great God.
And so. During this season of "expectant waiting".... We wait for the Coming One, the Beginning and the End, and we wait with hope.
Merry Christmas!

Pages of History-Book Review

Having used Veritas History cards and resources for the last few years, I was overjoyed to receive a copy of their new book for review. My kids and I are really enjoying this book! It is a fun, fictional tale of two boys who end up discovering a notebook, which sends them traveling through time on an overview of God's story throughout history. Now, I will say that this book would not, in my opinion, be able to serve as a main resource or spine (such as say, Story of the World, or the Famous Men...series).
However, in our experience, this captivating and fun story book serves as a perfect in-between. As a whole family studying a certain time period, you may have older students who are ready for the meaty, hearty books that Veritas recommends (which is one of my favorite things about them!!). However, for your younger, or in-between students (I am thinking early elementary, all the way up to junior high), this book is a great "gap-filler". It can easily draw the children in to an overview of the major events covered by the history cards, while still capturing their attention and not overwhelming them with too many facts and dates (although those are in here too). And along the way, there are many useful and helpful charts, maps, and helpful tools to help make the information more easily understood.
All in all, this is a great resource, and a fun addition to any family's study of chronological history. You do not need to be using the Veritas history curriculum or cards for this book to make sense. It is appealing as a stand-alone addition to any chronological study of God's work throughout history.

Quiet time.....

Everyone handles pain a little differently. Usually when I'm pregnant, I have this weird inclination to watch birth videos, or old episodes of "A Baby Story" on the Internet. Kind of a funny little thing I do, especially considering I have given birth five times myself. I will occasionally see a woman in so much pain, maybe screaming or writhing...and I scare myself thinking, "Is that how it is? Because I can't do that!"
It's so easy to compare ourselves with others. It's so easy to watch other people doing and living and think, "Oh, that's how it is supposed to go." And you know, it's not just that everyone handles pain differently, it's that we handle different types of pain differently.
We have experienced some different types of pain lately. Although, all at the same time. And as I think back on my labors with the kids, I tend to just go "radio silent." Quiet. Not that I never utter any whimpers of pain, or writhe around in it. But for the most part, I stay pretty quiet. And I think maybe, that's where I have been lately. I don't know if it is just my way of processing through it all. My brain has been frantic in its attempt to "figure things out." And I haven't felt as well, so I can't do the normal amount of reading or studying that I normally do. And that's how it is with my labors. Sometimes, I just have to be still, and wait for the next wave of pain to come. And it's painful! I don't understand the pain of the next contraction any more than I did the pain of the one before. But I have the big picture. These "light and momentary afflictions" are ACHIEVING something...something glorious that far outweighs the pain.

I have a large "bleed" in my uterus. If it remains, things become dangerous for this sweet little girl that I already love so much, and they become dangerous for me as well. I'm more than halfway through this pregnancy, and the kids have prayed faithfully everyday for this sweet baby girl.
There are other pains....physical, emotional, relational, financial....
And in the midst of each wave that comes, I don't understand and it certainly doesn't feel "light and momentary." BUT IT IS.
I wasn't promised a healthy baby girl. Oh, I do HOPE for one. But my hope is not IN that. I wasn't promised relational ease, or physical comfort, financial ease, or emotional stability (think hormones!!!).
But I am confident of this.... It is all ACHIEVING something. Something glorious.
I'm always afraid to talk about my own suffering...because there's always someone, somewhere suffering more than you are. Today, I just lay it before Jesus, who is a faithful High Priest, able to sympathize with my weakness. And in my spirit, I feel my weakness give way to His strength bit by bit. I feel my body tired, worn out....and I feel it's weakness give way to God's power. I feel the pain, and it gives way to what God is achieving in me. I will not be the same. A dear friend said to me the other day, how she was loving the gift of entering God's court with praise and thanksgiving. So maybe, in these "quiet times", I am learning that I don't have to hunker down and be strong and figure it all out. Maybe, in the quiet moments, I am learning to give thanks for a God whose power is made perfect in my weakness.

"[God's Word] reminds me that my life need not be imprisoned by my own rebellion, defeated by my own foolishness, or paralyzed by my own inability. God's grace is most powerful and effective at the moment of my greatest weakness."--Paul David Tripp

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." (2 Corinthians 4:7-10, 14-18 NLT)

Hair cuts again....

Man! These boys all have hair that grows sooooo fast!

Oh, how I love Your law!!!

"You are good, and do good;

Teach me Your statutes."

Psalm 119:68

     In our last internship class, we were talking about the gospel...which, is a huge "buzz" word lately, and so we spent some much-needed time actually defining: what is the gospel?  We talked about the reasons God gave us the law... 

     Lately, however, there is just something that the Lord has pressed upon my heart...so much so that I couldn't even sleep the other night because it is literally "burning" in my heart (and no, I don't just mean heartburn!, although, that keeps me up too sometimes.  Six pregnancies, what do I expect?)

     Anyhow!!  Back to the point.  There are many reasons that God gave the law, and the most clearly seen is of course to show us our sin and need for a Rescuer... but the one that is burning in my heart, the one that causes me to shout along with the Psalmist: "Oh, how I love your law!!" is that God gave us the law to reveal Himself.  To show us who He is, His character, and His ways.  Through the law, I see what things God loves, what He prefers, what matters to Him.  And this, well this is important for SO many reasons!!!

    Obviously, it is important because we know God more by reading His declaration of His ways!  But for the Israelites, it was imperative that they knew God's character as revealed in the law, because it set the stage for them to recognize their Messiah!!!  God's Word says clearly that in Christ, all the fullness of God's character was made manifest!!  Jesus not only "fulfilled" the law by making provision for our inability to attain to it, but He fulfilled the law because He was the fullness of God's character and His ways, dwelling among us in flesh.  He is Emmanuel...God with us.  The beauty and fullness of God's faithfulness, His mercy, His lovingkindness....The full and complete, rightly-born image of God walking among us!!!

     And, although there is so much more to be said about this... there is a huge implication for "preaching the gospel" to ourselves daily.  In God's desire to call out a people for Himself, and conform them to His image (the image of His Son), He transforms us as we think deeply and meditate on both the WORK (the life, death, and resurrection of Christ on our behalf), and the CHARACTER of Christ. God's WAYS, as revealed in the law, are the same as what we see revealed in the life of Christ...only in their FULLNESS!!  

     This is all swimming around in the "theological" realm of my brain...but let me give you a practical so this will possibly make sense to someone other than me, awake in the middle of the night.

      For example....God's commandment to not covet another man's wife or house tells us something about God: He values and loves CONTENTMENT.  He loves to be a loving Father who provides what His children need, and He delights in His children trusting Him for what they need, rather than continually desiring more.  But we as a people, we are not content.  We want more power, more money, more pleasure, more toys, more "me-time", and more Holiday flavored coffees (sorry, that was the awake in the middle of the night me, dreaming of a Pumpkin Spice Latte).  But you get it.  Anyhow, Christ came, and was the ultimate fulfillment of CONTENTMENT.  He was CONTENT to release all glory, honor, and praise, and to receive what God gave to Him...the inheritance of the saints and the name above all names.  But the cost was great.  It meant His life, His righteousness for our sin.  But He was willing to receive the cup that the Father had given to Him.  And so, it is by His death, and the exchange for His righteousness that I am even able to know and worship this amazing God.  But as I meditate upon Christ's contentment, the beauty of His willingness to fully display what God prefers and loves in being content...well, it is then that Christ begins to transform my wicked and selfish heart, and slowly, one step at a time, "I am crucified with Christ, and it it no longer I who live, but CHRIST lives in me." (Gal. 2:20) And this is amazing, mind-blowing.... The fullness of God's character and His ways...revealed first in the law, and then FULLY in Christ...they begin to make their home in me.  Not fully....but "we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory just as by the Spirit of the Lord."  (2 Cor. 3:18)

     AHHHH!!!  If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know what a nerd I am.  But man, I could geek out on this for days!!!  Here are some of the Scriptures that I am just eating up as they "burn" in my heart:

"You are my witnesses,' declares the LORD, 'and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.  Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me.  I, even I, am the LORD, and apart from me there is no savior.  I have REVEALED and saved and proclaimed--I, and not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses,' declares the Lord, 'that I am God.'"  Isaiah 43:9-12

"But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.  For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus' sake. For it is God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."  2 Cor. 4:3-6

There's so much.  All of Colossians.  But hey...don't take my word for it.  Search God's Word!  Look for the beauty of God declaring Himself and His ways through His law.  And then watch, through the story...how God declares His love for fidelity and faithfulness (do not commit adultery, do not worship other gods)...and then, because we are faithless and He is STILL faithful, the fullness of that faithfulness is revealed in Christ...who made provision for us by exchanging His faithfulness in "always being about the Father's business" for our waywardness, and not only secures our place among God's children, but then miraculously begins to cultivate FAITHFULNESS in us, by being "Christ in us, the hope of glory." (Col. 1:27).

"Oh, how I love Your law!!!!"

Glorious Ruin....

"This life may feel like one long, painful death. All you can do is hang on, and sometimes you can't even do that. Fortunately, the good news of the gospel is not to hang on to God with all your strength and willpower and you'll be okay. The good news of the gospel is not some gnostic encouragement to view your suffering in the right way, or understand the theology of the cross more deeply. No, the good news is that God is hanging on to you. He's not waiting for you to save yourself, or mature into someone who no longer needs Him. Jesus will never, ever leave you or forsake you. Nothing you can do or not do can separate you from the love of Christ. In fact, the only thing God needs from you is the only thing you may ultimately have to offer Him: your death.
The good news of suffering is that it brings us to the end of ourselves...it brings us to the place of honesty, which is the place of desperation, which is the place of faith, which is the place of freedom. Suffering leaves our idols in pieces on the ground. It puts us in a position to see that God sent His Son not only to suffer in our place, but also to suffer with us. Our merciful friend has been through it all! He is with us right now! And while He may not deliver us from pain and loss, He'll walk with us through it."
--Tullian Tchividjian, Glorious Ruin: How Suffering Sets You Free