My sweet boy,Eight years ago today, I was anxiously awaiting your arrival. With contractions on and off for about a month prior, I had almost given up hope that you were coming at all. Not even one contraction that day, when I sent your daddy off to work night shift. I called him just a few hours into his shift, almost in tears....and Daddy knew something was up. When he got home, he found me in the shower and not too long after, you made your grand entrance into the world and became the first of our children to be born here at home.
I think that is part of who you are.....I think you will be the one to blaze a trail to many "firsts" in this family and in the world!!
You are a fantastic reader, although you would much prefer to be doing something active. =) You were so excited about getting Heeleys....it only makes mama a little nervous since you have already had stitches, glue, x-rays, and a couple of CT scans. You excel in your use of language, as well as math, science, and pretty much whatever you put your mind to...but only on the days where it suits you. You recently began Teaching Textbooks 5, Rod and Staff English Grade 4, and you are so happy to finally be learning cursive (it took mama a long time to order your book). At Groups, you are taking Astronomy, Chess, and Legos.
One of the things you were so excited about as you turned eight, was the possibility of watching the Narnia movies for the first time. We snuggled in and watched The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Daddy had read it aloud to us a few years ago, but this was the first time you got to see the movie. I asked the older kids, "Do you remember what it was like when you saw Aslan for the first time?" As I watched the movie, I could identify so strongly with the battle scene. Peter, still so young and unsure if he was ready to lead an army into battle. Stepping out where he had never been before, unsure if he would even emerge alive. And the thing that struck me the most this time....is that Peter and Edmund entered the battle before help was on the way or even an option.
Many times this year, I have felt like I was entering a battle that I was not ready for. Many times, I haven't been sure if I could keep going. And often, as we have prepared for trips to NY and not knowing what treatment or when or so many details for the trip....it has felt like entering a battle not knowing if Help would really come, but needing to just trust and believe that it would.
My darling Ezra. In many arenas, your heart is fearless. But there will times ahead where fear will come fast and fierce. You will feel as though you are facing battles that you may not feel ready for and aren't sure you can win. And even if you step forward with courage, you may find yourself wondering if Help really will come. In those moments, you have to go back to the moment when you first saw Aslan. He is the most terrifying, most beautiful, most gentle, most powerful lion...And even though he is not tame, HE IS GOOD. Aslan is a picture...He reminds us of Jesus. Jesus is terrifying in His strength and authority, in His sheer power and command over creation...but He is gentle, patient, compassionate, and good. Remember the moment when you first saw Jesus. And even more than that....remember the moment, after the dark night where the lion was slain, when the sun rises, and there stands the lion shining in the brilliance of the sun. Jesus is alive. He has conquered the greatest enemy we have. It is His strength that gives us courage for the battle.
Your name, Ezra, means "Jehovah is my help." And Lucas means "bringer of light." My prayer over you, my sweet boy with the heart of a warrior, is that by the help of Jehovah, you would bring light into the darkness. When the enemy threatens darkness, I pray that you would be one who would shine the light of Jesus with courage. And I pray that no matter what battles are ahead for you, I pray that God would always give you the faith to remember that first look at Jesus, and to KNOW that help is coming. He is your help. He is your strength. And HE alone is always worth the battle.
Happiest of birthdays to my sweet boy.
With love, and for the King,