Friday, July 25, 2014

Planted in Faith....

Never doubt in the DARK what God told you in the LIGHT.

V. Raymond Edman

    The last few days, I have been trying to quietly repeat this truth to myself.  Clearly, I need a bold, loud reminder, rather than a gentle, quiet one:

Don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith.

Elisabeth Elliot

Towards the beginning of this year, Ben and I were wrestling with the question of our family size. We felt God drawing us into unity, asking us to trust Him with this area of our life yet again. We heard Him, in His glorious light, ask us to trust Him in seeing if He might have another precious, eternal soul to entrust to our family.  In beautiful faith, God planted in our hearts the vision of enlarging our family.

Well. Fast forward awhile, and I'm on the couch, more sick than I have ever been during pregnancy. I watch as the chaos seems to take over, my poor husband runs almost ragged doing what I know is my job!  I watch, heart breaking, as war and chaos and screaming have seemed to break out in every corner, and I begin to let doubt creep in. I wonder if any character could possibly be growing in this mess.  I wonder if we were just wrong and irresponsible like people seem to think we are.  I can't see how this could possibly be what is good and best for our family....

But then. The roots of faith pull me back to what is true, and I remember. I remember what God taught me so faithfully the last two years,
"There's always more going on than what you can see."

I remember that my stuggle is not against a 5 year old who won't obey or a 3 year old who screams and kicks. No. My struggle is NOT against flesh and blood. There is a heavenly war raging in the realm that I can't always see. And even though I can't stand up on two feet and I can't move sometimes, and even though I never, ever wanted to be mothering from the couch!!!!!
They need me to PRAY.
No eloquent words needed. 
"Lord, have mercy on us!" is sufficient.

I may not have a clear thought in the day because the sickness brings such a fog. But I can utter the desperate cries of a momma who just needs more grace, more mercy from heaven, more Jesus....
I can still hold out God's Word before them as a beacon of light and truth.  It is not just the "standard" that we live is the bread that sustains us. It is the nourishment that keeps us living and breathing.

I may not FEEL like I have much to offer these precious ones in this season.  But, by God's grace, if I live with FAITH in what God planted, if I hold fast to what He told us in the LIGHT....then that gift is enough for today.
It may get more dark and difficult. It may get messy. It may even look like it's whithering in the heat. 
But by faith...we pray that what God brings up out of the soil, which He planted by faith, will surprise us all with its beauty.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Big accomplishment!

Look who read his first little Sing, Spell book!!!! Judah Sean, you are learning so much! :-)

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Birthday boy....

Happy birthday, Caleb Paul!!!  You are such a gift to our family. There are so many amazing and wonderful things I could say about you. But today, instead of thinking about all you do (which is a lot!), or even the truly remarkable character growing in you, I just want to say that I love you. I love being around you.  Our family just needed a Caleb Paul Hester. 
We were laughing tonight because I think you were my easiest pregnancy, and my easiest labor/delivery. 
I love how close you and Emma are. You two make a good team.  You are so wise beyond your years. Sometimes your prayers just floor me.  All your brothers look up to you so much. Which is also a gift!!!
I'm just sort of rambling, but it all means, "I love you." "I'm thankful for you."
Today, Emma was telling some friends of ours that you are the nicest person on the planet.  You frequently hear how amazing, smart, hard-working, etc, you are. 
So this year, my prayer for you is that you would know without a doubt, that God doesn't love you because you're intelligent, or because you don't show your frustration easily, or because you are so helpful and hard-working.  This year, my prayer is that you would know the love God has for you in Christ when you don't get it right.  When you do get frustrated.  I want you to know that you are loved because you belong to our family. Oh! Your hard work is a great gift and I believe it is all part of God's plans and purposes for you.  But it is not what makes you valuable.  You are priceless because you were bought at a great price.  Your love and value is made secure in Christ.  He loved you first...and that is why you can love at all.
So. My dear boy. I love you more than my words can express.  May your love for God's Word grow deeper and stronger, may His love and light become more satisfying than any other thing, and may you rest fully in the good news that you have been rescued.  May Jesus Christ forever be your King and Captain....
For the King! For the Kingdom!
P.S. I hope to post some pics of your special camping trip with dad soon. We are having technological difficulties.