Tuesday, October 28, 2008

In Love...

It's hard to find the words to communicate what I am feeling, but I wanted to try, because when I look back, I want to have written down somewhere what it felt like during these days that are going by so fast. 
In the quiet moments of the night, it is just Ezra and I.  Sometimes when I am nursing, the thought occurs to me that I could be doing some multi-tasking... accomplishing more while I feed him (even if it's just checking e-mail or something).  And then my heart reminds me that these moments are over too fast.  So instead, I drink in deeply the details of my God's handiwork, I praise Him, as my heart overflows.  I hear the chorus of the Chris Tomlin song over and over as I stare in awe, "You do all things well!!"
Yesterday, instead of our usual "schoolwork", Emma and Caleb wrote stories.  They told them to me, and I wrote them out, and then they drew pictures to accompany their stories.  I marveled at their creative ability.  I am listening to them giggle as they make play-dough Oreos, and I am so thankful for these amazing kids.  
This afternoon, while Caleb and Emma and Ezra were quiet (well, sort of) I got to just sit and play puzzles with Noah.  Then as he ate his lunch and made silly faces at me, I thought, "How can one person be so blessed?"  
I am the mommy to four.  There will be many times when just that thought alone will overwhelm me.  But right now, I am in awe.  I am so honored to be entrusted with these ones, and I pray that despite my failings and mistakes, I will be found to be as faithful as one sinful human can be.  These amazing ones are in my care.  My husband is at work, providing for us, and can't wait to come home to us.  I can't wait for him to be here either.
It is our great God who has given us all this.  He most certainly does all things well.  I am reminded of how God loves us just because we are, not because of what we have done (as if we could do anything of worth!!) and in spite of our sin.  Thank you seems so small compared to all that God has done on our behalf.  And yet my heart cries it out, over and over... Thank you!
I am in love.


sarahgrace said...

Well said, very well said. I am fighting back tears over here. *sniffle*

Tonya said...

what a beautiful post. you are so right about it all. Amazing is God's handiwork.

heidibelle said...

That is so beautiful... every child is a blessing, number four is something special. I had a similar experience trying to rationalize 'just' feeding my baby and then coming to realize, there is nothing more important that I could be doing. Treasure every moment that you can. You are amazing and God's gifts are amazing.

Christine H. said...

Wow, I feel like I just had church. I loved what you wrote...so sweet...so honest...so inspiring. Thanks!