Thought-provoking....

"Mr. Carter, do you expect the world to 'pad their corners' for you, because you are blind?"

(excerpt from our current family read-aloud, "Follow My Leader.")

This quote was especially thought-provoking for me last night. I really mulled it over in my mind. As we homeschool, there are so many philosophies and paradigms and ways of thinking.

Each family is so unique, and must submit to the Holy Spirit and discern wisely what is best for their children. In our approach, we wanted to start with God, and His Story among the nations... including the ugliness of idols, sin, wickedness, and war and gore, and tell His story of redemption. Now, this is not to say that we never censor anything!! (And of course, each individual child is different in what they can handle, and age is a factor here too). In fact, we find ourselves on the very conservative end of movies that we allow, music, etc. But what I loved about this quote is that it reminded me to examine myself, and to ask myself whether I am preparing my children for "sharp corners" in this world, by talking with them, answering questions, making them aware of certain things, or am I am padding the corners, teaching them to expect the world to change for them? Because this world is full of ugliness. But it is also full of beauty. And this world is not going to change for them. But, one day, this whole world will once again bow in submission to it's Lord, and it will all be changed and made glorious. I don't want to "pad the corners", but I do want to make them aware that there are some sharp ones out there.

Decorating Grandma's Tree...

We asked our kids what some of their favorite Christmas traditions were... and of course, decorating Grandma and Grandpa's tree was high on the list!! So we got together with the cousins and had a blast. Ezra was sick that evening, so he missed out. But the older kids enjoyed themselves immensely:

Uncle Scott and Ethan finishing up the tall places.

The finished product. =)

I had a couple of adorable videos of the kids singing some Christmas songs, but unfortunately, the annoying pregnant lady leading them in song can be heard much too loudly. We will try again soon.

The Nutcracker Ballet...

Well, for our special Christmas date, Ben took both Emma and I to the Nutcracker Ballet. It was very exciting, because at age 7, Emma really is the perfect age. It was her first time going to a real ballet. And to top it off, it was a local ballet company which included a young woman from our homeschool co-op, who played the role of the Snow Queen, among other things.

It was a delightful evening, and our sweet girl seemed to feel loved and treasured all around.

Oh, how she loves that Daddy of hers....

We were able to find some suitable souvenirs, including a Clara ornament (holding her Nutcracker, of course), as well as three small Nutcracker ornaments, each in a different color for the boys.

Emmanuel....

One of the things that just amazes me about the living God, is that He knows us each so intimately, and allows us to know Him. It is astounding to think about coming to know Him, but it is, at times, even more astounding to think that I am known by Him.

"But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him." 1 Cor. 8:3

Anyhow, for the last couple of years at Christmas time, I have just been amazed, and in awe of this concept: Emmanuel, God with us.

I love the Casting Crowns song:

God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel...

As a momma, we all go through different seasons. There are seasons where you feel like you can barely catch your breath. Like the waves are crashing over you and you just don't have enough in you to do all that needs to be done, taken care of, disciplined, washed, and put away. The Lord was so sweet to me. I was at our homeschool co-op, feeling like I had just barely made it there. I was scheduled to be on prayer team, which is normally my favorite, but for some reason, I just wanted to sit in a chair and not get up (and eat the delicious food!). (The Lord KNOWS me so well!!) Well, for some reason, that day, none of the food was appetizing. So, no reason to stay and eat... might as well go pray!! It ended up being me with two other lovely, godly women. One of which has 8 kids!! They so sweetly encouraged me and prayed for me, and then we all in turn praised God and prayed for the other families there in the co-op. But my dear friend with 8 children (most of whom are grown now) said something, something that would not have meant the same to me unless the Lord had already been working out this awe of Emmanuel in my heart.

She said, "There were days I would come to the door, holding the baby. My husband would walk in the door and ask what we did that day. I would tell him, 'Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We didn't get anything done for school, we didn't clean. Nothing!' And he would respond...."But, who was with them?" "I was." "That's all I ask. That you are with them."

I thought about that.... It is amazing that our truest, greatest need is to have the wrath of God removed from us. And the way that God did that was to be with us. For Christ to enter in, to be near us, to be for us, to be with us. And then He bore that wrath on our behalf.

Being a mom, especially of a large family, is sometimes exhausting, overwhelming.... And homeschooling sometimes adds a responsibility that can make you lose sight of what you started in the first place. But as I relayed the story to my husband, he emphatically agreed that my job is not to produce rocket scientists, or presidents, or engineers. My job, is to be with them. My job is character training, under the leadership of Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit. My job is to be honest about my own failures and short comings, and to always point them to Christ, who bore God's wrath on my behalf too! And what the Lord develops from their personalities and their gifts.... well, that's His job.

I saw this verse in a new way this week... I have had the first part heavy on my heart the last two years, the second part was heavy on my heart this week:

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27

Just trying to spend my time with the kids these days being with them. Not distracted, not busy, not overwhelmed.... just with them. And whatever we get "done" is just a bonus. (I do normally find that when I am truly "with them", we seem to accomplish so much more. Hmmmm......)

Park Day!!

A day at thepark with our homeschool friends.

Our friends, Kristen and Micah.

My crazy climber.

We had five moms, and 15 kids. How fun! The other kids were playing too hard for me to get many good pictures. =)

Halloween

The Whole Gang (Daddy was taking the picture)
Obi-wan Kenobi (when he is old, hence the beard drawn by Daddy)
Luke Skywalker
Spider baby
Prairie Girl
Momma had been sick, so we either wore what we had, or did some last minute costume creation. We headed up to Ojai Valley Baptist Church for their Harvest Festival. We saw so many good friends, and had a great time.

Palm Springs

Wow, we had such a great time. I don't really know where to start, or finish, except to say that the Lord knew our family needed this time away together, and it was made even more sweet by time with friends from church and our homeschool co-op. We celebrated Noah's 4th birthday there, and had movie night at our hotel room with 17 kids!! We hope we will be able to go back every year!!

The Birthday Boy!

Ezra in the kiddie pool-only a foot deep!

Emma and her friend Savannah riding scooters!

Carmel Apple night!

Apple picking!!

Okay, so this is old news, but I just uploaded pics from my camera.

A few of us homeschooling moms made the drive up to Solvang for apple picking. You can see that when just a few of us get together, there ends up being quite a gang. I think we had almost 20 kids. =)

And Noah!!!

Dear Noah,

You are four!! You were so excited to turn four, and since then, you have done many things, "because I am four." You like to eat beans, because evidently, four year olds like beans.

We celebrated your birthday during our vacation in Palm Springs. You still had donuts, and friends over to share them. We had a movie night in our hotel room on your birthday with 17 other kids!!

You are such a special little boy. Sometimes, it seems like you are living in your own little world, but it must be a fun one!! Your smile lights up a room. You are a goofball!! You are learning to read ("The cat ran fast.") You love doing school work like your big brother and big sister. You LOVE legos, especially Star Wars legos like brother. You run on your own timetable. The other evening, we had finished dinner and momma was starting to clean up, while you were at the table. You looked up at me and said, "Mommy, you're beautiful." And then you smiled that "million dollar smile" that made me feel like nothing else in the world can.

We pray that your heart of love will be filled with compassion, just like Jesus' was. And that your smile will touch hearts and lives for His glory. And that just maybe, the people who feel like they have no place, will spend a day in your world with you, and find the hope of Jesus and the love of a Savior. We love you Noah!!

Ezra....

Dear Ezra,

You are two now!! You know, I already had two boys before you came along, but nothing really prepared me for you. You are such an amazing boy, full of life and personality. Before you were 6 months old, my main describing word for your personality was "tenacious." I continue to maintain that position. When you see something you want, you go after it until you get it. I never baby-proofed the house for any of the kids until you came along-and then, it didn't matter because you would figure out how to get around it, or overcome it by brute force. You have the best belly laugh... I could tickle you for days, just to hear you laugh. You think you are a big kid, and want to do everything that "Emma", "Pau", and "Wo-wa" do.

You have such a special connection with Daddy. I don't know if it is because he delivered you, or not, but you sure do love your Daddy. You usually prefer to be with him. (But, you sneak me all kinds of special hugs and kisses while he's gone at work). You are learning all kinds of words everyday, but you usually like to leave the endings off of them. You love to ride your "bike", which is brother's Razor scooter. It's kind of scary to see you on that thing, but we just put on your helmet and let you go, because containing you is even more of a problem. =)

You bring so much joy and excitement to our house. We love you so much, and we pray that your tenacity will be of great service to the Lord for His Kingdom.

Pumpkin Patch

We met Ryan and Kelly (and the girls) at the Pumpkin Patch and Kelly took some amazing pictures. I cannot believe she got this one with all of us looking!! Hahaha. We didn't do the hay ride, or the maze, or come home with a pumpkin. Those things cost money! But, thankfully, making memories doesn't cost anything, so we opted for that.

Mycenean Culture

So, we use the Veritas History Cards, and have enjoyed them quite well. I am hoping to do a post soon on homeschool books and tools that I love. But for today....

Veritas is now offering their history courses online, as self-paced classes. They offer a free 30 day trial, so we started the Greece and Rome trial. It was so helpful, and really kept me on track on days that I wasn't feeling well. But, both Ben and I were not very pleased with the brother and sister (teaching the class) and the way they interacted with each other. So, we are back to "normal" school, without the fun online course, but enjoying ourselves nonetheless. Finishing up the overview of Mycenean Culture with a beautiful picture of God's word. Today we made pottery with clay, and once they dry, we will paint them with beautiful colors.

"The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: 'Arise and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause you to hear My words.' Then I went down to the potter's house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.

Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: 'O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?' says the Lord. 'Look, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!'" Jeremiah 18:1-6

We had a wonderful discussion time, as we used water to smooth out the cracks in our clay, and as we shaped our pots, we talked about God shaping us and smoothing out the cracks and making us into a useful vessel.

In awe...

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." Jeremiah 1:5

What an amazing thought... that even now, God is knitting this little one together, and this child is known by God.

First Day...

It was the first day of our homeschool co-op. The kids were so excited!! Ezra didn't want to be in a stroller, he wanted to walk like a big boy with his backpack on.

Emma's Classes:

1. Art for Kids

2. Land Animals (Apologia science)

3. Fun Games that Teach

Caleb's Classes:

1. Kids in the Kitchen

2. Land Animals

3. Just for Kicks (Tae Kwan-Do)

Noah is in the K-4 class (kindergarten), and Ezra is in the toddler class.

I am an assistant for Papercrafting, and teaching Math Fun.

On Choosing Joy...

So, a few of my homeschooling momma friends from church decided that we would try to get together once a month to encourage each other and pray together for our families. We are also going through an amazing book called "Seasons of a Mother's Heart" by Sally Clarkson.

This past month we were discussing the first chapter. It was about choosing to be thankful and learning to be content. The Lord convicted my heart again, that in the midst of a season where there are some difficult days (especially where I am laying on the couch not feeling well), that I can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, choose joy. Here is an amazing little nugget for you, then the story...

"The joy-filled life is not found by trying to diminish God-given responsibilities as a woman, wife, and mother, nor can I find joy merely by refusing to face the hard realities of life in a fallen world. There is a tension that God is asking me to acknowledge and accept-the tension between the "ideal life" and "daily realities." That is where Jesus meets me, where his Holy Spirit empowers, and where I learn how to live the Christian life with supernatural joy."

Isn't it sweet of our Lord to give us opportunities to practice?? So, I was not feeling well, my tummy was doing flip-flops, my head was pounding, and we were on the way home from grocery shopping and a last-minute library run. I had been reading to Ezra and Noah a story about ten rubber ducks, and Ezra was making a very cute, low and bellowing "quack" sound, copying me. So, on the way home, we were quacking for Ezra, and he would copy us, and it was all very cute. Unfortunately, one of the kids decided it would be more fun to get Ezra to "ROAR", which he does at the *top* of his lungs.

Everyone is roaring, my head is pounding, and the thought rolls into my mind: "choose joy."

So, for the next 15 minutes, Ezra would yell, "Mommy!! Mommy!!" And I would say, "Yes, baby." And he would yell, "Dis. (This) ROAR!!!"

And we all chose joy. And even though it is not always quite as easy or sweet, our choice was rewarded each time with the belly laugh of an almost two year old, content that he had pleased his audience. =)

Pictures

I finally downloaded the pictures from my camera. There were 555. Wow. It takes forever to upload them, so I will just pick a few highlights from the summer....


The swimming hole with some friends!


The "Noah" room for Vacation Bible School. That was a lot of work, but it was a blast. My friend Kristin said to me that week when I had a bad headache, "Oh, maybe you're pregnant!!" Hahaha.


The beach with friends. Ben was surfing with a friend, and then let all the kids take turns on the surfboard.

It was a great summer. It feels like it went by so fast!! But we made some great memories and had tons of fun with friends and family. We have so much to be thankful for.

First Midwife Meeting...

We finally met with a midwife here in Ventura, seeing as how we really want a midwife assisted home birth. Things went well, and I am so anxious to begin care with the amazing women at Sunrise Birth Center. I will concurrently be seeing Dr. Cole, who is covered on my insurance as part of the "back-up" emergency plan. Not necessarily super excited about that (although not because of Dr. Cole, we like him, and he delivered two of ours). Just not anxious to begin denying all those tests, and having them all hate me. =)

But at the close of our first meeting, Karni, the midwife decided to get out the doppler and let us hear the most beautiful sound... baby's heart, beating away. I felt so much joy, and awe, amazement, and wonder, I cried. It was so beautiful.

Evidently this baby really likes Nutella, which we just discovered yesterday. Salad, but that's normal. Not super into meat right now, although sometimes at the right occasion.

You would think that it would start to get old, being baby number five. On the contrary, I am filled with more awe and wonder at the creativity of our God each time. He amazes me over and over again.

Ezra and the scooter...

He's enjoying it so much, he snuck it inside the house last night and was riding it around. Don't worry, it found its way back outside. =)

Ezra loves to talk, including, "Tank too, Mommy" and "Up, pee..." (up please.) He is a busy boy, but sweet and full of a little mischief. He can climb just about anything... making bed time difficult since we can no longer contain him! Before meals, he will fold his fingers and say, "Na,na, na, na... (thank you, thank you Jesus, we love you....) and then when I say Amen! he opens his hands and smiles big!!

An Old Friend...

Have you heard the saying "books are friends"? Well, in the past few days of feeling yucky, I revisited two of my most dear friends. These two books have, aside from God's Word, had the deepest and most far-reaching impact of any other books. And I love to read.

The first is (I apologize, I don't know how to underline on here??) "Hinds' Feet on High Places", and the second is its sequel, "Mountains of Spices", both by Hannah Hurnard.

These beautiful allegorical books detail the journey of Much-Afraid, as she follows her Shepherd on a journey to the High Places, and is transformed. The second is her journey back into the Valley of Humiliation, from where she came. I don't know what it is... Yes, I have read Pilgrim's Progress, and even the children's version with the kids. But, the thing that struck me the most, even this time around all over again, is the beauty of the relationship between the Shepherd and His followers. The reminder that it is not even His promises, as wonderful as they are, that I really want at the very core of me... it is Him.

So, many tears over the past couple of days, but I will leave you with just one of my favorite quotes which are so dear to my heart:

"My Lord--if you can deceive me, you may. It can make no difference. I must love you as long as I continue to exist. I cannot live without loving you."

The Announcement Post

We are expecting Baby Hester #5!!!

Okay, so remember when I had trigeminal neuralgia? I had to stop nursing Ezra and it was made clear that I should not be pregnant while on the medication. So, we were so very careful, and made sure to prevent as best as we could (without permanent decisions or the use of any hormonal forms of birth control, which is also, a whole different post.)

So anyhow, when I got off the medication, we needed to address the issue of irregular bleeding that I was having. It was making our planning a little more difficult. Ben kept reminding me to go to the doctor, but it was hard to remember!! I know, I know. Anyhow, finally got the appointment, had to wait like, two more months to be seen. Then, the appointment came and they rescheduled me! By the time I finally got in, they asked, of course, when was the last time you were bleeding? My answer? Oh, about two weeks ago. They were going to run a full blood panel, including a pregnancy test which I thought was just plain silly. Ha! But, it peaked my curiosity. So, at home I took a home pregnancy test, and lo and behold!! It was positive. So, I checked the calendar and oops! It had been a month since I was bleeding. (This is kind of a side note, but isn't it super cool that the Lord totally took care of the bleeding issue?)

Emma is fervently praying for a sister and has recruited Caleb and Noah to pray with her. When I first found out, with all my hormones going nuts, I said to Ben, "Oh no! We are going to be that crazy family with ALL those kids! We will be like the Ojai Duggars!!" My dear husband chuckled and said, "Uh, we kind of already are..."

Oh, yes. That's right. Well, then... I'm okay with that. I like our people.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them..." Psalm 127:3-5a