It's a rainy afternoon here in NYC. Elijah is wiped out so we are having a quiet moment in our room.
I was reading this in Numbers the other day, and it spoke straight to my heart:
"Now on the day that the tabernacle was raised up, the cloud covered the tabernacle, the tent of the Testimony; from evening until morning it was above the tabernacle like the appearance of fire....At the command of the Lord the children of Israel would journey, and at the command of the Lord they would camp; as long as the cloud stayed above the tabernacle they remained encamped.
Even when the cloud continued long, many days above the tabernacle, the children of Israel kept the charge of the Lord and did not journey."
I don't know what cloud is covering you. But I do know this....sometimes, there are places and seasons and circumstances in life that leave us longing to journey. To high-tale it on out and MOVE ON.
I feel the desire in my heart, as I see pictures of sweet, beautiful family vacations taken by friends. I think of things that I might like to do or see or experience with our kids. But for this time and this season, the cloud continues. I am not to move on...I am to press on. I am to keep the charge of the Lord and not journey. I am to plant my feet and be faithful with what's in front of me.
Long story short with Elijah's bloodwork... His numbers have gone up higher than they were. It could be nothing, or it could be something. At this point, our course of action is to go back to CHLA next week, retest his blood, and possibly run some more tests or scans. I'm tired sometimes, of fighting for his care and phone calls and emails and not getting straight answers. But the cloud continues....and so it is not time for me to journey on to the next thing just yet. It just means that the fullness of this time and this season and this circumstance has not yet been accomplished.
But the most beautiful thing about this story, this reminder to continue in the charge of the Lord, is that the cloud wasn't the circumstances. The cloud is the presence of the living God. That's how I know I'm not to move yet. His presence is beckoning me to stay here, with Him, and to keep His charge. He is still working in this place, this season, and this circumstance. And I want His work to be carried on to completion, because He does the best and most beautiful work.
So, I may not have a whole lot of answers. But I'm staying here while the cloud continues, and I'll look forward to the day when I receive the command to move on.