It's amazing, actually, how long it has been since I posted a blog entry. There are lots of reasons why-my MAC is dead, awaiting a new powercord, I haven't uploaded any pictures from my camera or my phone, and I can't post onto the blog from the phone. Well, and the four kids. But really, this last month and a half has left me with very little words in the blogging world. Life in general, with four little people under 7 is kind of crazy already. I had all the intentions of continuing our schooling throughout the summer. We go year round, since we plan for four days of school per week, and are lucky if we get two good days out of that. =) True confessions. But anyhow, there has been no school. But, there has been learning, and there has been life, and that's more important anyway.
Grief has been a really strong component to the last few weeks. My sister-in-law's sister (hopefully I haven't lost you already) was tragically killed in a car accident. Then, two weeks later, I got a call from a friend at the hospital--her 18 year old son died in a skateboarding/car accident. And this past week, a really close friend of mine miscarried. And during all this, Daisy Love (our pastor's daughter) has had to return to all the chemo, this time even stronger and more aggressive since her cancer came back so quickly.
It is so painful to watch the people you love hurting. You want so badly to help, but there is One Comforter, One Helper...all you can do is point back to Him and His Word. It is in many ways, a great privilege, to walk alongside those that you love, and encourage them to press deeper into Jesus. And yet still painful.
But there is that tiny, nagging feeling in my heart that reminds me that I really haven't suffered a day in my life. I mean, sure, I have gotten sick, or had rough times, and felt pain so deep you don't think you can breathe. But really, when I think about it, I have been hidden so safely in the cleft of the rock. I have four healthy, beautiful, amazing little people whom I have the privilege of being home with everyday. We have a house to live in. With a backyard and two bathrooms, because you know everyone has to go at the same time. We have two cars. And no car payments. I have an oven that works. And was free (My oven broke. We didn't know what to do, didn't really have the money. A church friend was remodeling and ***happened*** to be getting rid of her wall oven that fit my opening. And this was no small task.).
I am kind of just rambling tonight, probably feeling guilty for not blogging, and partly not having a clear direction anyway. Just knowing that this month, I have been more thankful. And my heart's prayer has just been that God would make me faithful, and give me the grace to walk in whatever He has for me. One day at a time.