So, the last two years have been a little rough for our family. And it usually has left me in one of two places: either in tears as I attempt to talk about it, or just speechless. Which is sort of how I have felt in the last few weeks. Speechless. Which is also why this past year, I didn't send out the Christmas letter that I always send out, the one that Ben's family always tell me they're so glad I send because it's the only way they can keep up with us and remember who we are...yes, that Christmas letter. I couldn't send one because I simply had no words. There are no words to describe when you are in the midst of the situation, and without knowing it, you have somehow come to a place where you think that the God of the Universe, who not only created you but redeemed you, is far away, and just maybe, has forgotten about you. I wouldn't have admitted it, even to myself, but I think that's what I was feeling, that God had become impersonal. That he didn't have a specific plan, but just a general plan for my good, and that I would just have to figure it out and suffer the consequences if I got it wrong.
Well, let me just say though, that this is a terrible place to be. Really. But there was a part of me that held out hope, because I knew I had heard God's voice before...it had been a while, but I knew that I had experienced God's SPECIFIC plan for my life, not just some general, yeah, God has good plans for me. I knew that God had to love me, and He had to be very near to me, because that's what His word says...and yet, I had started to wonder.
There are many things for which I have no answers for, even still, but there is one thing I know and I wish I could shout it from every roof top...I am no longer speechless...
"I KNEW IT!!! GOD DOES LOVE ME!! GOD HAS A PLAN, SPECIFICALLY FOR MY LIFE, AND HE DESIRES TO SPEAK TO ME!!!!"
So, here is the summary of the events, and I will describe with more detail in another post.
Ben and I are moving to a super cute three bedroom house here in Ojai, sometime in the next two weeks or so.
Ben will be staring a new job working for Aera energy (an oil company in Ventura) in the next three weeks or so.
The Lord has proved Himself mighty and faithful on our behalf, and we are rejoicing simply in the fact that God is very near to us!!!
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:24-28