To manage a life of pain, as a believer in Jesus, remember: This is all the hell you will ever bear. (M'Cheyne)
I read this quote this morning, and it was exactly the reminder I needed. My back has been "out" again, and causing a lot of pain. If I am honest, my body was giving me warning signs for about a week. But I didn't listen. Which, at this point, I think we can all agree, was just a little stupid. This is my first pregnancy with the back trouble. (And most likely, the last, although that is a whole new post and many prayers and tears away). But anyhow, Ben stayed home from work on Monday, to help take care of me. I got a massage, and was feeling better. I had Grammie and Grandma all lined up to help with Ezra so that Ben could go back to work. Tuesday morning, I woke up, still quite sore and moving very slowly, but moving nonetheless. Got some coffee and some toast and was heading back down the hallway. And, then, it went!! I was fortunate enough to make it to a chair in our bedroom. I was in so much pain, but I knew no matter how bad it hurt, I had to make it to the bed. So I did. But, I was in a lot of pain, even after getting there, and couldn't move at all. I am normally pretty quiet about pain, but I heard Noah say, "Mom is hurting so bad, I heard her say 'Aah!!'"
Caleb came in and asked if they could pray for me. Then I heard him go back in their room and say to the others, "Okay, let's lift our hands to the sky!" I also heard him ask, "Okay, how many of you think that God is going to answer?" (On a side note, I think it's totally awesome that our family size is so big that one of them can ask a questions like "how many of you???" as if there are soooo many!!!)
Ben came home quickly and despite my tears and moans was able to get me turned over. Just kept having spasms in my back. Very painful. The thought crept in, "I can't do this!" It has been kind of a painful couple of years, between the trigeminal neuralgia, then the back stuff, etc. But God is so gracious and faithful, I knew people must have been praying for me, because I corrected my thinking. "I can do this." We are going to make it. One day at a time. And so, this quote was particularly meaningful to me this morning. The Lord is walking us through. Praising God for the prayers of my kids. He is using even pain to shape them into prayer warriors. (They made a "prayer club" for me.) Praising God for my husband's job, which has allowed him to be home with me when I needed him so desperately. (Another side note: as he was helping me try to get to the bathroom, I had my arms wrapped around him, and I told him, "Ahhhh, best part of my day.")
Praising God for family and friends that are willing to help and to pray and to care.
Praising God that in my greatest pain, I still know remarkably little of it.
Have been super encouraged by the song, "I love your presence." Here's a link:
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