The Need for Hope

A Crooked Week...

2012-01-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

I had to laugh when I read this today:

"Consider the work of God;

For who can make straight what He has made crooked?

In the day of prosperity be joyful,

But in the day of adversity consider:

Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other,

So that man can find out nothing that will come after him."

Ecclesiastes 7:13-14

Now, I say this lightly, because if I really think about it, I have nothing to complain about. But, it has definitely been one of those weeks... you know, where everything is just... unexpected. And in the midst of it, you almost feel yourself fighting against it...until you suddenly realize, am I just trying to make a crooked thing straight? Because, maybe it was meant to be crooked!!

In a nutshell...

Finances were tight and so was time, so I wasn't able to get the groceries I was planning on. But food seems to be my "comfort" zone, I feel secure knowing there are tons of options. But, we just prayed that God would enable me to be creative with what we had!!!

So, I had to laugh when God not only called me out on my food-comfort issue, but then got a phone call from a friend on Monday asking if it was okay for me to have four extra kiddos for a couple of hours. And I have to say, that not only did God provide, but because I had to be a little more creative than normal, I actually think all the kids ate better than they ever would have!! We had oatmeal for lunch!!!

Then, the washer backed up and overflowed...and Tuesday the plumber was supposed to come between 12-4pm. Ben was working late, so I needed to feed the kids, pack them up, and meet Ben when he got off at 6pm so that I could get to Perspectives (and stop by a good friend's baby shower!!). Well... the plumber came at 4pm!! He, he. I should have guessed that one!

But, thankfully, he fixed the problem with the washer because I was going to need it!!!

Wednesday morning Noah came in and asked if he could watch a movie. I told him, "No, honey, we have other things planned for today."

Then, he threw up all over our bedroom floor!! Needless to say, I reconsidered the movie idea. =) So, I was pretty thankful to have a washer that worked yesterday and today. Today, he still can't keep any food down, and Caleb isn't feeling well either. Ben worked late again Wednesday, and tonight we were supposed to go (just the two of us!) up to the Community Group Leaders potluck...

But...

This week was meant to be crooked. So, we have enjoyed laying low... We haven't needed the usually overwhelming amount of groceries, since we are sort of surviving on toast and bagels. And, things seem to be going much smoother when I stop trying to make the crooked things straight. And instead, I am **learning** to smile at God's graces in the midst of the crooked things.

The "easy way" vs. the "hard way"....

2012-01-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

I can remember, when Emma and Caleb were very little, saying to them, "Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way." It is funny how at that time, I was trying to get them to choose the easy way!! (meaning, with less discipline!) And now, here I am trying to help them to see the value in the hard way. =)

Yesterday, the kids had a science report to work on. It just so happened that their English work was also about taking notes, and then writing a report. So, Emma took her "notes" on the hawk's bill sea turtle, and then as I read the "report", I noticed that the sentences seemed strangely familiar. Well, that is because they came right out of her science book. I redirected her to her English lesson, which specifically pointed out the difference between copying IDEAS, when taking notes, and copying sentences, which is stealing.

She broke into tears. "Everyone else in my class does it that way, and the teacher said it was ok!!"

Oh man.

How do we, the Hester family determine what is right, and what is wrong? How do we find out what God thinks about something?

The Bible. (Emma answers, and then bursts out, "But I don't read the Bible everyday!!! Just the Action Bible!!")

But Emma, you know the answer to this.... Does God think it is ok for you to take someone else's words, and put them into your report as if they were yours?

I thought we were finally getting somewhere. And I made sure she knew that for the other kids in her class, this was not sin. They had their teacher's approval, and many of them are young, and so at certain ages, you will allow copying facts and information. However, her English lesson (and her momma) have now made her accountable for this. I made sure she knew that I was right there, ready to help her make her own sentences....

But come lunch time.... Emma was just struggling with it, complaining about how she didn't want to work that hard!

And as I looked around at my mess of a kitchen as I tried to strain the vegetable broth, cut up all the veggies to get dinner going in the crockpot, and make lunch for the kids... I told her:

"You know, sweetheart. It would be easier for Mommy to pack all of you kids up in the car, and go through the drive through at McDonald's, and buy you a lunch that someone else has already made. But, not only would the food be less healthy, but I would be spending almost double what it would cost to feed you at home, and that would not be a wise use of the money Daddy works so hard to make for us. So, we could do it the easy way.... but, I want to choose the way that will be most honoring to God."

She got it. And, as a side note, her report turned out so well!! But it just reminded me, that sometimes, it is hard to do things the hard way. Sometimes the easy way seems better. And you know, it's not bad to go out to lunch and it's not going to kill them to (shudder) eat McDonald's for lunch one day. But it reminded me to check my own heart.... Am I taking the easy way, or the hard way? And it also reminded me that many times, the hard way is the easy way!! Because God's way, although difficult, is the way filled with the most joy, beauty, and delight.

"The way of a lazy man is like a hedge of thorns {he is too lazy to remove them!}, but the way of the upright is a highway." Proverbs 15:17

Small Sacrifices...

2012-01-12T20:40:00.000-08:00

Lately, it has been difficult to find the time to stop and blog about life, because we have been busy living it! =) A good problem to have. But, recently, Ben and I have had some decisions to make-you know, the ones involving when to say "Yes" and when to say "No." These are always difficult, especially given that we have a large family, and well, let's face it, the almond milk and vegetable broth aren't making themselves. ;)

But, specifically, I had an opportunity come up. Now first of all, this opportunity should not be appealing to the average person-but to me, it is. Secondly, it should just be completely off the table for a person in my stage of life, not to mention the commitments we already have, and given that we are about to start hosting and co-leading a Community Group in about a month....

Laugh with me as you see what we've been learning this week:

Confidence is being sure that God will help you do His work, even when people think you can't do it.

"God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again." Phil. 1:6

Resourcefulness is making use of all opportunities to do God's work.

"Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it? I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land." Isaiah 43:19

Courage is knowing God's power can help you do something hard even when you feel scared.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

Creativity means coming up with new ways to reach people and do God's work.

and today's:

Boldness may require doing the unusual.

Ha! Now, the decision is not made for sure or anything. But, the one thing that I really felt the Lord saying to me is that if He is asking me to do something, even something that seems sort of impossible in our current life season, then He will give me everything I need to obey Him. But, it may require some things. It will definitely require a greater accountability of my time before Him-because there is literally, NO time to waste. There's no time to just "watch a show" and veg. (Not that watching a show is bad! I'm just saying....) When you add something to the recipe, it means other things other need to be taken out, or the whole recipe suffers.

But wow! Even the benefits of just seeking the Lord, and hearing His Word, and laughing with joy at how our God never stays in a box!!! He is full of surprises!! I am intrigued, and excited to see what He has planned, because I know it is good. And although I am not being asked to sacrifice anything on the same scale here... I still think Jim Elliot said it best:

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

The moment we've been waiting for....

2012-01-09T09:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, maybe "the moment" is a little dramatic. But, a moment, nonetheless. We have been waiting until we felt like our two older(s) were ready to see The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Now, I am just one of those people who in general, always prefers the book. And this case is no exception. But, as we watched with wonder, I found myself moved all over again, by the wonderful thoughts and images of this lion... this One who is not at all tame....but is Good. My heart welled up as they came seeking Aslan, and everyone bows before him. And my heart bowed before Jesus...
I cried as Edmund was pronounced a traitor...as I felt myself in his place. My heart burned as the witch began to quote the "laws" on which Narnia was founded, and Aslan replies sternly, "Don't you quote the Deep Magic to me... I was THERE when it was written!!" And as the witch dares to ask, "How do I know you will keep your promise?" To which Aslan just ROARS!!!!
And I cried, as I watched Aslan on the stone table, knowing that it was because of Edmund's treachery...but even more so...it was Jesus, on a cross, because of mine....
Oh, the beauty of the story. THE story. The beauty and majesty of what Jesus has done for us is just so good... and I love the Chronicles of Narnia, because they are just a shadow, a reminder, of the most wonderful story...
And this weekend, I was lost and caught up in it again. It was wonderful.

December Catch-up....

2012-01-03T07:40:00.001-08:00

My sister-in-law Kelly got Judah this shirt, which is quite possibly the most awesome shirt ever. It says "Book Worm." And you know, 18 months is the perfect size for him, since he's... 9 months old.

A salad with "feta" crumbles. After making almond milk, I took the almond "pulp" leftover and seasoned it with salt, apple cider vinegar, and garlic. It made a perfect "feta" for out\r salad with blueberries, walnuts, and butter lettuce. Oh yes, and the honey balsamic vinegar. =)

Nutritional yeast... an important "vegan" thing to have around. =)

Wow! So much.... We totally enjoyed this Christmas season. It was amazing and magical!!! We read lovely Christmas stories, we baked tons of things (VEGAN, things!!), and played with lots of friends, and just generally enjoyed a low-key,Christmas.

By far, the biggest change around here is... our diet. Ben has a family history of high cholesterol among other heart and artery issues. So, we have been pretty close to vegetarian for a while. Ben decided 6 mos. ago to stop drinking milk as well, but we were still doing a lot of dairy and cheese for the kids, and with dinners. I noticed Caleb having some tummy trouble, so we made the decision to cut dairy a bit and see if that helped. Then, we watched a documentary called "Forks Over Knives", and it just sort of sealed it for us. We decided to start the adventure of cutting as much animal products as we could, to see if we could experience some of the health benefits, and have some fun while we are at it!!

I told my sis-in-law.... I don't want my kids to remember this season by what they can't have.... I want them to remember us trying new things, and to remember my excitement at having to be more creative with how to feed our not-so-little family. =)

My little bunny rabbits....

I'm having trouble posting pics this morning, so I may have to come back later and add them in... just want to get all this down while I have a second. We've all had a ton of fun with one of Caleb's Christmas presents from Grandpa and Grandma Nash. He got the Tony Hawk "Shred" game for the wii. So, some fun skateboarding and snowboarding going on here. I hope I can post those pics soon.... it's just too fun!! And, ahem, for the record.... the last time we had the whole family showdown, Momma won!!! Noah and I are the only "regular" riders, the rest of them are all goofy-footers. ;)

It's been a great month full of fun and adventure!! I hope yours was too!!

Christmas 2011 Letter...

2011-12-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

Dear Family and Friends,

It is so very difficult to try and sum up a year of life into one letter, so I will take a different approach this year. :) I do need to introduce the newest member of the Hester Family. Judah Sean Hester was born at home with the help of a midwife on March 18th, 2011. He was 9 lbs.!!! His name means “praise God who is gracious”. He is a joy and treasure to all of us, and gets LOTS of love around here!!

This year has gone very quickly for us... but I think it would be safe to say of all of us in our not-so-little family that we love Jesus and His Word, we love people, we love good food, and we love to read. :)

So, I have asked everyone in our family to share their favorite books-either that they read themselves, or that we read as a family.

Ben-Jesus+Nothing=Everything by Tullian Tchividjian, Entrusted With the Gospel Edited by D.A. Carson, and Ministry in the Image of God by Stephen Seamands

Lisa-Jesus+Nothing=Everything, Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick, Humility by CJ Mahaney, and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

Emma-Corrie Ten Boom by Janet and Geoff Benge, A Question of Yams, Wisdom With the Millers and Missionary Stories With the Millers, and George Mueller by Janet and Geoff Benge

Caleb-Mossflower by Brian Jacques, The Bronze Bow, and Out of Darkness

Noah-The LEGO Star Wars Character Encyclopedia, The Jesus Storybook Bible, and Out of Darkness

Ezra-The Jesus Storybook Bible and The Bronze Bow

We had the amazing opportunity to do a family road trip to Colorado!! It was a memorable trip in so many ways...and I had the incredible privilege of attending a Leadership Intensive with Sally Clarkson. Ben took the kids to the Focus on the Family Center as well as Garden of the Gods.

Both Emma and Caleb chose to be baptized this year! It was such a joyous time to celebrate God’s work of making them new. Noah is reading well, and enjoying it! Ezra is always into something, usually including mischief, but has at least heard me and can repeat back to me, “I am a treasure.”

It has been a fun year, and we are enjoying lots of extra fruits and vegetables as we move toward a plant-based, whole foods diet. We were pretty close before, but we are cutting more dairy from our diet and enjoying the creativity that comes with the process. =)

We wish you all a Merry Christmas, as you meditate upon Christ and His amazing love. The gospel of Jesus Christ changes everything-this has been the theme of our year, and we pray it is the theme of every year to come as well.

With love and joy,

The Hester Family

Ben and Lisa, Emma, Caleb, Noah, Ezra, and Judah

On being an elf....

2011-12-21T07:49:00.001-08:00

Man, for some reason this year, Christmas shopping was so difficult!! My poor husband, found most of his ideas met with responses like, "They aren't being responsible with what they have now! I'm not buying them more!!" Or, "They have some of those (Legos!)....They don't need more!!" Or, "That is just way too expensive!!!"

And, he bore with me patiently... We found a few small things to wrap and put under the tree. And then, this morning, four days before Christmas, I found my weakness. I realized I was just shopping at all the wrong places. Christianbook.com not only had all the items I was apparently looking for (and more), but will upgrade you to 2nd day air shipping for free. =) {Now they can all open a BOOK too!!} Haha!

But this morning I was reminded that every time I have been pregnant, the enemy tells me the same lie: "You're not doing a good job with what you have, and now you're having another one?"

It reminded me that although my children need to learn to treat their things well and be responsible.... It doesn't mean that I withhold things from them until they are doing things perfectly. Because four (really, five!) times, I have been unsure of whether or not I am REALLY doing a good job, and God has chosen to bless me anyway with these amazing, wonderful treasures.

So, this morning I am rejoicing in the fact that I am just a helper. God knows what they need. And oh! He loves them. And He has reflected His own giving heart in my husband who rejoices in blessing them and seeing their faces light up. This morning, finding some really amazing, exciting, God-honoring literature was what it took for me to see it: the picture of their excited faces, me coming out in the morning for coffee to find them sprawled across various pieces of furniture reading.... and smiling because I know they are reading amazing books. :)

It's fun being an elf.

(PS- I have called myself an "elf" in this post just for fun-I do not in any way compare God to santa, santa does not "come to our house" at Christmas time, etc. But I thought it was fun for this post. You get it, right?)

The last chapter...

2011-11-29T11:34:00.001-08:00

"He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze..."

But Jesus said that the Victory was God's promise. He called men to make ready their hearts and minds instead.

Was it possible that only love could bend the bow of bronze?

"Magic"

2011-11-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

"Mom! There's just no such thing as magic!!" giggled Noah, as he smiled at me.

I leaned across the table and whispered to him, "I think it's magical when you are standing outside and it starts snowing on you for the first time in your life."

"That's not magic! Jesus did it!!" Noah replies.

"Oh, but don't you see? Jesus is the only one who can do the most magical things!!"

Hmmm.... like, tasting something for the first time that it so amazing. Like Candy Cane Lane tea with a little bit of cream and sugar.

We've obviously done some teaching on magic with the kids.... and it is hard because there are some kind of dark, yucky things when you dive into the world of magic. But, especially during this beautiful, amazing, MAGICAL, season.... I don't want them to miss the wonder, the beauty, the mystery of Emmanuel, God with us.

Tea and Sympathy...

2011-11-26T07:25:00.000-08:00

"I know what it's like."

It is hard sometimes, to watch your kids as they begin to realize just how "different" they are. I don't think the boys notice it quite as much. But, all of a sudden, they start noticing that we don't read the same books, or watch the same shows and movies , that we don't go to the same school, that we don't have the same toys, that we don't eat the same food.... the list goes on and on.

And the best I really have to offer our kids is that I know what it's like. I know what it is like to not have the same things, to not read the same books, to not eat the same food, to do things differently than others around me.... Really, I know what it is like to be lonely. Sometimes, it is really hard to feel alone in certain things. And yet, we must be faithful to what we believe the Lord is asking of us as a family. He hasn't asked us to look just like any other family. But He has asked us to be faithful as the Hester family, to what He shows us and asks of us. And so, when I am having a hard time feeling lonely and different, like my kids do sometimes, I need some tea and sympathy as well. And it has been given:

"Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

It is so good, and so beneficial to my heart this morning, that it is worth repeating in the NLT:

"That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it." Hebrews 4:14-16

Beautiful to be alive....

2011-11-24T06:18:00.000-08:00

"It's not much of a world, is it? Is it worth trying to bring Leah back into it?"

Thacia stood still in the road. "Yes!" she cried, and Daniel was astounded to see that tears had sprung into her eyes. "Oh Daniel-yes! If only I could make you see, somehow, that it is!"

"All this--" she exclaimed, the sweep of her arm including the deepening blue of the sky, the shining lake in the distance, the snow-covered mountain far to the north. "So much! You must look at it all, Daniel, not just at the unhappy things." Suddenly she reached out and touched his hand. "Look!" she whispered.

He lifted his head and followed her gaze. Overhead,barely discernible against the blue of the sky, a long gray shadow hung suspended. Cranes, hundreds of them, were passing in a great phalanx. They wheeled and caught the sun, flashing light from banks of white feathers, with a shimmering like the snow on the mountain. Motionless, the two watched till the line slowly melted into the distant air.

Thacia let out her breath. "How beautiful!" She sighed. "It is beautiful just to be alive in Galilee!"

This quote is from our current read-aloud, The Bronze Bow. I actually missed this part in the book, (Ben read a chapter while I was away one night) and Ben brought me back to it because it is so beautiful. It is so easy sometimes, to get caught up in the unhappy things, the ugliness of this world. But, oh! What joy is found in looking for and basking in the beautiful things. Every beautiful thing is a glimmer of hope.... this world is being "renewed in the image of its Creator." One day, it will all be made new, and together with creation,we will all join in the beautiful praise song we were meant to sing to our God. But in the meantime, we hear measures of this beautiful praise all around us, like:

(the food from Backyard Bowls in Santa Barbara...YUM!!!)

3!!! That's right, 3!!! Dates with my husband this month! (Totally a side note, but it is oh so necessary, and such a blessing when people recognize that parenting five tiny people can be difficult, and that our marriage is absolutely worth investing in! I was on such a high from being able to go out with my husband that I offered to babysit for three people!!! I want to stand alongside people and say, "Your marriage is important!!!)

(The Spring Rolls from Mary's Secret Garden...YUMMMY!!!!)

Five beautiful, healthy children

Reading wonderful stories as a family- (Emma reading to the boys and some friends)

Vegetables in varieties of colors, tastes, and textures

Hearty, earthy grains, crumpled on top of pears...

Friends, and laughter!!!

The sunrise every morning whispering God's love and hope for the day

The sunset whispering God's peace for the night...

The sleep that each night reminds us that we are not God!!! (He doesn't need sleep but we do!!)

The cloth diapers that saved the day since we ran out of diapers and don't get paid until next Friday. =)

Baking pies with Emma and my mom

Staying up WAY too late with the girls

tea parties with friends

Warm smells and delicious tastes, reminding me of winter

The beautiful falling rain, watering the earth, pouring down God's blessing

I could go on and on... but I am sure you get the point. Today, I am so thankful. "It is beautiful just to be alive in Ojai!!" =)

Dear Judah,

2011-11-18T07:21:00.001-08:00

You are absolutely adorable!! I mean, look at yourself in these jeans and the little puffer vest. An abundance of cuteness. But do you see here?

This is you and brother Ezra in my bed.

And this is you asleep in my arms.

You are so very tired. You eat tons of baby food and people food, you have two bottom teeth, and your two top ones are just about to poke through. You are into everything because you can "crawl" around, still mostly commando crawl. It is just a suggestion, but, now that you are 8 months old, I really think that adding sleep into our nightly routine could be helpful for everyone all around. Thanks!

Love

Mommy

A Tough One... Top Read Alouds

2011-11-13T21:11:00.001-08:00

My friend Kristen did this post on her top 11 read alouds here. I thought it would be fun to do this post as well.... although, this is very difficult for me. So, I'll just mention some of the books that we have loved and read, and try not to duplicate any from Kristen's list. I do want to agree heartily-I have had tears running down my face as my husband reads the voice of Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia. And we laughed so hard at Mr. Popper's Penguins. Nonetheless, here is my list:

1. God King-historical fiction set in the time of Ancient Egypt, around the time King Hezekiah ruled in Israel.

Honorable mention for this same time period goes to The Golden Goblet and Shadow Hawk.

2. Hittite Warrior-historical fiction set during the time of the Judges.

3. Adara-historical fiction surrounding Naaman's servant girl, who tells of a prophet in Israel.

4. Forbidden Gates-I love the picture this one gives of Jewish customs. A young Jewish boy goes against Jewish law to get a Gentile closer to the temple...

5. Out of Darkness- A young Jewish boy (whose mother is ill) befriends a Roman beggar boy who is blind. Together, they hear rumors of a man from Nazareth who can heal.

6. Follow My Leader-a tale of a young boy, blinded in an accident, hoping to get a dog who can help him "see."

7. YWAM biographies- Some of our favorites were George Muller, Hudson Taylor, and Corrie ten Boom.

8. The Hedge of Thorns-a beautiful tale of a young boy and his sister who learn that God lovingly places protective hedges in our lives.

9. Just David-by the same author as Pollyanna

10. The Bronze Bow- another book set in the time of Ancient Rome.

Jesus + Nothing = Everything

2011-11-12T21:17:00.000-08:00

"We have to keep reminding ourselves of the difference between moralism and the gospel. We have to keep remembering that the reason Christ came was first of all not to make bad people good but to make dead people alive. If we forget that, our Christianity will turn out to be Christless."-Tullian Tchividjian

WOW...

2011-11-08T07:41:00.000-08:00

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29

"...In Ephesians 4:29 Paul commands that our verbal communication always be purposeful, and the right purpose is "that it may give grace to those who hear."

We're all in need of grace... So let us pray, "Lord, help me discern what kind of grace this person needs." For those who are legalistic or feel condemned, we want to bring justifying grace to their souls. To those struggling with a besetting sin, we want to bring sanctifying grace. To those experiencing suffering, we want to bring comforting grace. To those who are just weary, we want to refresh their souls with sustaining grace...Through each and every interaction, however casual, however brief, I want to impart grace through my words, for that's God's purpose in granting us this gift of speech. And in effect, we have God's promise in this passage that when our words are edifying and appropriate, they will give grace."-- C.J. Mahaney, Humility

Colorado part 2....

2011-11-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

The "million dollar highway" and the Colorado River.

Friends!!! Here are Judah and Finlee!!!

Sally Clarkson's house, for the Mom Heart Leadership Intensive.

I didn't go with them, but Ben took the kids and met up with our AMAZING friends the Benders, and they went to Garden of the Gods. I asked Ben to take pictures for me, and he took his job quite seriously. When I asked him how he got this amazing picture of Ezra, he said, "I laid down on the ground."

Col-do-rado.... (part 1)

2011-11-01T10:13:00.001-07:00

As Ezra likes to call it. I just got around to downloading all the pictures on my camera.

The beautiful porch where we enjoyed prayer times, worship times, and where I wanted to be all the time. :)

ATV Fun!!!!

Exploring and learning....

The zip line!!!

I made boxes for the kids that they got in thecar once we got to Flagstaff. Ben made fun of me for putting pipe cleaners in the box... but they got super creative with them. Here is Caleb's "padawon braid".

Turquoise shirt day... with this many kids, you gotta keep track of them however you can!!!

Fun in Dolores, CO. Played at an amazing park, then Emma and Caleb learned to skip rocks in the river....

Daddy teaching gun safety with the BB gun.

Night Hike!!!

Maroon shirt day...

The bow and arrow!!

Time flies by....

2011-11-01T08:02:00.001-07:00

Noah and Ezra with the cake!

Luke's Landspeeder

First bike ride on the bike path! (just in time for Palm Springs!)

The birthday celebration at Grandma and Grandpa's. Armor from the cousins!!

Sweet Noah lost his first tooth!

The cardboard box contest. Caleb made a tie fighter.

Sweet baby taking a bath in the sink. He barely fits!!!

Emma made a scarf for herself and a matching one for her Kit doll.

Monolopy Surfing Edition makes for fun family nights.

Observational drawings and watercolor painting...

Caleb is a master builder with legos. He is becoming more and more creative with his ships.

Beauty...

2011-10-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." 1 Peter 3:3-4

This picture is from our recent time in Palm Springs. A lovely young woman, Bethany Fankhauser, captured this picture of Emma. I love it for so many reasons... but, the above verse from 1 Peter is painted on the wall in Emma's room. I love that in this picture, I get lost in her eyes. I can see there everything good that the Lord is growing in her-a beauty that is oozing out of her insides, and spills out onto the outside. Oh Lord, make me so much more concerned about the beauty that comes from within, both for myself and my sweet little girl.

Dear Noah

2011-10-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Today you are five years old!!! I love to snuggle with you! You have so much personality. You love Star Wars like your older brother (even though you haven't seen the movie!). You love riding your bike, and you have been swimming everyday with your swim vest. You are usually on your own timetable. Sometimes, it seems like your head is in the clouds. :) You are one of the most affectionate little boys I know. You are so very talkative when given an audience. Today, at the thrift store, mommy found an Anakin Skywalker costume and a Stormtrooper costume. You didn't even want to go to the pool today because you were playing with the costumes and the little lego guys you got for your birthday. Even with your missing tooth, you still have that "million dollar smile." You remind me to be affectionate. You are reading quite well for a five year old, and you surprise me sometimes at the things you can read. You are doing well in math as well (Saxon 1), and you love to learn. But, your favorite thing to do right now is to play legos with your brother. It is so fun to see you growing and learning. It is hard to believe that you are five years old!! Our prayer for you, Noah, is that you would continue to enjoy life as much as you do, and that you would enjoy Jesus so much that you would cause others to want to love and enjoy Him as well.

With love,

Mommy

Worship Time

2011-10-25T07:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the blurry photos.

It was so sweet!!! We had a worship gathering Sunday morning with some of the families here in Palm Springs. Dave led worship for the kids, and Ben shared a little devotion with the kids. There is not much sweeter than starting the day hearing kids pray, sing, and read God's Word aloud. It was such a special time, and sweet to share it with other families who love Jesus.

From what Ben shared:

Have you ever had a secret? Something really, really wonderful and exciting, that you wouldn't know unless someone told you? Like, that your mom has made cookies, and your brother is playing in the backyard.... he won't know about those yummy cookies unless someone tells him!!! We wouldn't know about God unless He decided to tell us about Himself!!!

"The heavens tell of the glory of God. The skies display his marvelous craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known." Psalm 19:1-2

"From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made. They can clearly see his invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God." Romans 1:20

Ezra Lucas Knight....

2011-10-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Ezra,

You are three years old now!! You are so full of life! We celebrated with the cousins at Grandma and Grandpa's house. You felt so special. You got to bring cupcakes for snack to your class of friends at Group Solutions. On the morning of your birthday, you went with Daddy to get doughnuts. We found a garage sale that had some cool Star Wars toys. We packed up and headed to "Spalm Springs," as you like to call it. Palm Springs is such a great time for you-you basically go from riding your scooter, to your bike, to the pool (where we swim for hours), back to the bike or the scooter, until you crash for bed. A bunch of the families went and made carmel apples tonight, but you feel asleep on Daddy's lap before you ever got an apple. :)

Ezra, you are such a special little boy. Our life is infinitely more exciting because you are in it. This morning, I want to tell you thank you.... Although many moments with you are challenging, you have been such a special influence in shaping my own heart and mind. You have pushed me to the very limits of myself, and helped me to find that Jesus is sufficient and sweeter than He ever would have been had I had enough strength on my own. You constantly remind me of the gospel, and that everything good is from God's hand of grace. You have completely destroyed my ability to perform well as a mom...and in that, I have discovered the love of Christ more abundantly. I would never be the same without you, my Ezra Lucas Knight Hester. You bring so much life to this family, and we love you so much!! Happy Birthday, "sweet boy!!"

You are a treasure!!! I love you, AND I like you.

Love, Mommy

Privileged....

2011-10-17T13:01:00.001-07:00

There are many things that we do in a day at home. One of my favorites is sitting around reading really, really amazing stories. This morning we were reading from a book called "Out of Darkness", set in the time period of Ancient Rome. There is a young Jewish boy whose mother is very ill. He befriends a blind, Roman beggar boy, and together they begin to hear rumors of a man from Nazareth with the power to heal. Two of my favorite scenes from today's reading:

"You make me ashamed in so many ways-especially your laughing response to difficulties."

Amplias shrugged. "Light is a better response to darkness than are clouds, it seems to me. And laughter is a thing of light, isn't it?"

And the next:

(Amplias, the blind boy, speaks of an encounter with Jesus):

Amplias nodded his agreement. "We were small. No. We are small. That's perhaps the clearest sensation I recall of my moments here with the Nazarene. As I knelt before him I felt that although my eyes couldn't see him, my heart was looking into the face of all that has been, or is, or ever will be."

Wow. Two amazing thoughts for me today-light is always a better response to the darkness of this world. What a fantastic thought, that I can bring light through laughter into our world today with my children.

And the second. Well, there are hardly any words, but this is exactly what I felt yesterday. I was at a church meeting with some amazing women, and I was paired with a friend to pray. As we did, I felt as though we had entered into the very throne room of God. I felt as though I was there, in the presence of Jesus. The very presence of everything that has been, everything that is, and everything that ever will be. Because of the cross, I am able to bask in that presence. And that presence changes everything.

Today, I am just so privileged to be here, at home, enjoying Jesus with my kids.

Sifted as Wheat

2011-10-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

“And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

Luke 22:31-32

As mothers, we so desperately want our children to succeed. We pray for them, we nurture them in hopes that they will choose well. And with that, comes what is sometimes a panic-stricken desire for our children to avoid failure. Now, don’t get me wrong: no mother sits around dreaming of ways for their child to fail. Jesus gives us these amazing words in Luke, showing us that He is not afraid of failure.

Here, Jesus comes to Peter, and really to all of us (the “you” in chapter 31 is plural!!). He says that Satan has asked that he may sift us. Now at this point, Jesus can pray for many things. He could pray that Peter is strong enough to resist the temptation to deny Jesus. He could pray that he would only deny him once, instead of three times. He could even just pray that Peter would be delivered from this sifting all together. He could have said, “NO!” to Satan. But he didn’t. Jesus’ view goes far beyond the mundane, and daily. His point of view includes all of eternity past and present, and yet to come. And so Jesus prays for what will work the most good for Peter, the disciples, the church, and what will bring God the most glory.

From our perspective, it seems so easy... The best thing would be for no sin. And yet, we know that isn’t the story of the human race. We always choose sin. And so, God writes an even grander story: redemption. He prays that Peter’s faith would not fail, and that after he has returned, that he would strengthen his brothers.

Wow! This is difficult as a mom!! But if we desire to make disciples of Jesus Christ, we must make failure part of our instruction. Our children, and our disciples, must be taught how to fail, just as much as they must be taught how to succeed. We must be willing to let grace shape our discipling. Grace does not mean that we remove the standard, or lower our expectations for our children. In fact, grace requires that we hold God’s Word out as the standard. But grace also bends itself down to the one who has not met the standard. It picks them up, dusts them off, and encourages them to continue on. It says with encouragement, “Your faith will not fail!!”, and it exhorts the fallen to rise again and encourage those around them. Use those failures to strengthen those around you. Don’t waste your failures, but instead, hold them out to the world as shining examples of God’s grace toward you.

I was convinced (and convicted!) of this one day as I sat sharing my testimony with a friend. I wondered later, if I had held back any of the wickedness of my sin and failure, in order to make myself appear not “quite so bad.” Right then, the Lord spoke clearly that I withhold glory from Him when I refuse to show how bad I really was. Every failure, every mistake, every sin, is a beautiful picture of the redeeming power of God’s love. Because, by His grace, I am not that person anymore. And so, I bring the most glory to God, when I am painfully honest about my failures, and use them as opportunities to strengthen my brothers and sisters.

Life Lessons from Surfing...

2011-10-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

When we first started having kids, we did take them to the beach... but just barely. What I mean by that was that we just didn't always do it well. We were just getting by in our beach visits-and poor Ben, hasn't spent nearly as much time on a surfboard in the last ten years as he did in the previous ten. ;)

Anyhow, he has gently encouraged the kids to get on the board, or get out in the ocean. But recently, he was really feeling like it was time to take them out on the board whether they wanted to or not. Really, we were in agreement that they should TRY to learn to surf, and if they just didn't like it after that, then we wouldn't push the issue. Well, when we announced our beach day this morning, we also informed them that they would each get a turn with Daddy on the surfboard (except Noah since he is still coughing). There was fear and trepidation all around, except for Ezra who has been talking about "surfing with Daddy" for days now.

But, Emma took it the hardest. She was so distraught that she laid on her bed and moped for a good hour. Finally I called her in and we had a great chat. I explained that sometimes, God asks us to do things that are scary. But when he does, he always gives us everything we need to obey Him. And, He many times does not give us those things ahead of time, like an hour before we are to get in the water, but He gives them just at the time we need them. I assured her that Daddy would do whatever she needed to feel safe: hold her, stay right by her, etc.

I also cautioned her in letting fear get the best of her... because many times, we get so worked up in fear, and then we find that it's actually too windy to even get in the water, or the waves are too big and it's not the right day.... Our Father is so much more concerned about our heart, and our willingness to obey. (Side note: Emma wondered how we knew that God was asking her to go on Daddy's surfboard, and I assured her that it was us asking, not God. But it was a very good lesson for her to learn, nonetheless.)

And so, they each had a turn with Daddy on the surfboard. And it turns out, that Emma had the best time of them all. She paddled on the board all by herself, and even jumped off the board into deep water and swam back to the board all by herself. Caleb and Daddy got hit hard by a wave on their way out, so he was a little traumatized. He recovered and pressed on, and although I don't think I could say he enjoyed it, he was proud of himself for his bravery. And Ezra, well, he enjoyed telling everyone on the beach, "I surfed with my Daddy. I was scared."

And yet, God, in His grace, gave each of them everything they needed to obey. And I was reminded that if I just cry out to my Father, He will give me everything I need to obey as well.

"Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go." Joshua 1:7

Much Needed Reminder

2011-09-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was feeling overwhelmed. And as I sought to pull apart all the reasons why, I had a pretty big epiphany!! Living under rules and law, instead of grace, is burdensome, tiresome, and overwhelming!!!!

I was faced with a situation in which I really felt like grace was missing; there was a whole bunch of be here by this time, you can't do this, you must do this, and don't even think of doing that, without a whole lot of...understanding. Without a whole lot of, "No, do what you need to do to take care of your first responsibility!! Those sweet little ones!!"

And so, I am reminded today, that I don't much like walking in rules and law without much grace. And I would imagine.... my kids probably don't either. ;)

"...but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." 2 Pet. 3:18

God's Grace

2011-09-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

in my children....

(This was actually a contest, a blog give away where I had to say how I see God's grace in my children):

There are so many ways in which I see God's grace in my children. I'll try to limit it to three here:
First, when you see them and hold them as babies, you realize the truth of the gospel-it is not because of anything they do or don't do that you love them, it is because of who they are.
Secondly, children are amazing grace-givers. Whenever I have come to my children in repentance, they are so quick to forgive and to encourage. :)
And lastly, I see God's grace in the specific children God has given to me. They are my perfect match. They have shaped me in so many ways. Even the most difficult moments of mothering have taught me to pursue Christ more fully for the wisdom and insight I need to be their momma.

Rockin' My World, Mr. Murray

2011-09-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

So, my current read (among others) is: "Raising Your Children for Christ", by Andrew Murray (previously published as "How to Bring Your Children to Christ". It has been so amazing... but I thought I'd leave a few choice quotes here:

"If every Christian home were a training school for His service, more spiritual growth would take place than could be accomplished through preaching."

"Only personal experience of the power of the blood can qualify a parent to speak to his children of God."

"Pleasure leads us to seek what is agreeable and for our own interest. It is one of the most powerful motives in all our conduct. When our pleasure, however, is at variance with the interests of others or the will of God, the sense of duty comes in to restrain and regulate the desire for pleasure. The reward of obedience to duty is that, in course of time, it is no longer a hindrance to pleasure, but becomes itself the highest pleasure. The art of education is to bring pleasure and duty into harmony. Both may be attained without the sacrifice of either."

"It is your duty and your joy to love the Lord your God with all your heart. If you love Him, then love His words, too. Let them live in your heart and let them have a place in your affections. When the heart is filled with God's love and God's Word, it is easy to have them in your mouth, too, and to teach them to your children."

6 months...

2011-09-18T21:38:00.001-07:00

Judah Sean, you are 6 months old today. You have changed our lives forever. I cannot imagine our family without you, you are a constant source of joy. And 6 months has sure gone fast!!

You are now 19 lbs., 4 oz. You have a tooth coming in on the bottom right side. You love your bouncy car. You can roll over both ways, and you can sit up a little bit. You can definitely bear all your weight on your legs. I have a bad feeling that you are every bit as tenacious as Ezra was. We tried baby food, but you just weren't into it. And as I say to all you kids:

"You are a treasure! I love you, and I like you."

I AM

2011-09-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

"Then Jesus returned to his wind-torn friends. 'Why were you scared?' he asked. 'Did you forget who I Am? Did you believe your fears, instead of me?'"

(from the Jesus Storybook Bible)

I love how well our Savior is captured in this quote. He is so gentle, so kind, to come and gently apply pressure to what has gone wrong. He knows just how to get to the heart of it. This morning, as I read this to the boys, I felt the gentle pressure applied to my heart. Am I believing my fears, instead of I AM?

Fears about my children: Will they ever be well again? Will the whooping cough that Noah has right now end up costing us Judah's life, like all the scary newspaper articles suggest? Are they getting enough of my attention? Is our deprivation of extracurricular activities going to hinder them?

Fears about my marriage: Am I doing enough? Is this crazy life that we have created really fulfilling for my husband? Is my "I've had five babies" body really enough to hold my husband's attention in this world where modesty is highly undervalued?

Fears about friendships: If I don't initiate something, will this friendship just fizzle out? Am I really a friend, or just a resource?

And to all of these fears, Jesus applies pressure gently and says, "I AM." Are you forgetting who I AM? Are you believing your fears, instead of me?

Because Jesus says that I just need to be faithful with what he asks of me as a mom, He will supply me with everything I need to do so, and that my children really belong to Him anyway.

Jesus says that I just need to be faithful with what He asks of me as a wife, He will supply all I need to do so, and that my husband really belongs to Him anyway.

Jesus says that I just need to be faithful with what He asks of me as a friend, He will supply all I need to do so, and that my friends really belong to Him anyway.

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing."

Psalm 34:8-10

"A Natural"

2011-09-12T08:18:00.000-07:00

People often think that I am "a natural" when it comes to being a mom. I am actually not sure what that means-maybe they think I just love cleaning up poop explosions, that I naturally love to function on very little sleep, and that patience waits nicely in my heart to show itself throughout the day.

Oh, that it were true...

What IS true? Well, I am a nerdy bookworm. I love studying God's Word, and reading great books. I literally have to pry myself away from studying or reading each morning to start our day. I have to move 1 study Bible, 1 study book, a commentary, two notebooks, any books I am reading, and various writing tools just to make our bed in the morning.(TRUE CONFESSIONS: that is IF I make our bed!!) I love drinking coffee (decaf!) and enjoying God's creation. I enjoy exercising. I love great food, and I enjoy cooking. I love people, especially in small group sizes. I like things neat and tidy. Messes make me feel chaotic inside. When things don't make sense to my organized brain, I feel anxious until I "figure it out". I like quiet (I have "bionic" hearing, so loud noises really hurt my ears.) I am a "loner." I have lots of acquaintances but very few friends.

BUT....

I love the Lord. I cannot live without loving Him (from my favorite, "Hind's Feet..."). Reading God's Word is like treasure hunting. I love reading books that cause me to think high thoughts about God, that elevate my thinking and cause me to dwell upon the goodness of my God. I believe that my purpose is to join Christ in His work of creating a lasting legacy, carving out a special bride for Himself. I am not passionate about homeschooling (SHOCKER, I know!!), but I am passionate about discipleship, and homeschooling just happens to be the best way for our family to go about it. I love God's story in history, science, English, even math, and especially His word, and I love getting to share that with my kids everyday. I believe that discipleship is costly and requires ridiculous amounts of time. I believe that God means what He says-you reap what you sow. I believe that when people need a resource, and they call me, I can give whatever I have to them joyfully, trusting God to meet the needs of my soul. I have seen over and over again, that when I am lonely, God is faithful to bring someone alongside me at just that right moment, that I can reach out to, and find comfort in. I know that God has given me a really special friendship with my husband. He's feisty, but he's my best friend. I have the most generous mom, who knows just the right time for "coffee breaks", or when to pick up 5 extra boxes of cereal at the grocery store. I do adore nursing a tiny, little baby.

But what is really true... is that I affectionately call marriage and motherhood "the slow death of myself." I mess it up all the time. I need to be reassured often that I am not totally ruining my children. I run to Christ for grace to cover my mistakes. I am certain that the only thing coming "naturally" to me is sin, anger, frustration, impatience, and selfishness.

"Yet this I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I hope in Him!'" (Lame. 3:21-24)

A favorite....

2011-09-08T07:36:00.001-07:00

This is one of my favorite verses. One day soon (I hope), it will find its way onto our bedroom wall. ;)

"Through wisdom a house is built,

And by understanding it is established;

By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches."

Proverbs 24:3-4

I love how this is a reflection of God's creative work:

"The Lord by wisdom founded the earth;

By understanding He established the heavens;

By His knowledge the depths were broken up,

And clouds drop down the dew."

Praying for wisdom, understanding, and knowledge to build our home today.

Poetry...

2011-08-26T08:33:00.001-07:00

My friend Kate set up a workshop with Kim Bredberg of Blackbird and Company, a language arts curriculum company. I came away with so many great things! She had us do a few exercises, one of which was to write a poem inspired by a photo. Just thought I would share mine here:

Lazy day

At the beach

Splashing in the waves

Feet red

From long hours

Broken seashells

Treasured

In my heart

Memories still intact

Inspired by a friend...

2011-08-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

This is a super, fantastic post by a friend of mine about worship:

http://teamhartfield.aimsites.org/2011/08/23/worship-from-30000-feet/

But what really struck me from her post was this:

"While I intended to sleep on my flights, God wanted me to worship Him. Through that adoration of my Maker He brought life to my soul. He gave me pleasure in the beauty of creation. And He renewed my passion for the journey we are on and the story we are writing every day."

We haven't been sleeping much around here. Kids getting up for all kinds of reasons. But this was a great reminder to me, that although I may intend to sleep, and get my rest and renewal that way.... God may intend for me to worship Him, by getting cups of water, and heating up rice packs, and soothing fussy babies. And if I will choose to worship Him in that, then He will give me pleasure in the beauty of His creation of these little ones, and He will restore my soul and renew my passion.

Thanks, Jodie, I needed that this morning. =)

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters,

He restores my soul;"

Psalm 23:1-3a

"The Lord sat enthroned at the Flood,

And the Lord sits as King forever.

The Lord will give strength to His people;

The Lord will bless His people with peace."

Psalm 29:10-11

Mom Heart Leadership Intensive Training 2011

2011-08-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

Jesus knows me. This I love.

This phrase is painted on the wall in our home. This is the best summary I can offer of our trip to Colorado and the Mom Heart Intensive. The Lord clearly showed Himself at every turn. He lovingly cared for us in specific ways. There is so much to share, but for now I will share a story, and 3 lessons that won't be quickly forgotten:

Our friends graciously offered their cabin in Mancos, Colorado for our family to enjoy. We stayed four nights, and then headed towards the Denver area. On the last day of our time at the cabin, a gravel truck drove past us and a rock hit the windshield. Hard. As we pulled over to assess the damage, we noticed pieces of glass inside the car from where the rock had hit. Then I looked down and noticed one small piece of glass on me. I felt an overwhelming sense of God's protection-as if an angel had just stretched out over me. We praised God together for His protection!! (But, we still had a broken windshield and about 2000 more miles to drive!!!!) Now, this is a tiny, little town. I called a place in town called "Integrity Glass." Not only did they have a 1997 Suburban windshield in stock, but they had a mobile unit that would come out to the cabin, replace the windshield, and it had time to sit overnight before heading towards Denver. God's provision is amazing, abundant, and breathtaking. It was as awesome as the beauty around us. My husband and I marveled at God's goodness. And we remembered(this time) that when we encounter difficulties, the way we respond to them can greatly effect our experience of Him within the trial. By the Holy Spirit, we were able to worship Him with a broken windshield. And when we did, we saw God show up in an amazing way.

1. "The heavens declare the glory of God..." Psalm 19:1a

(Deb's beautiful backyard!!!)

When we disconnect from the beauty of God's creation, we miss out on a part of who our God is. His creation declares His glory!!

"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead..." Rom. 1:20

(Just outside the hotel, as we were driving over to Sally's house)

2. We burden ourselves and our families unnecessarily when we try to drink a "cup" that is not what the Lord has given to us. We must accept our God-given personalities, and accept what He has made us stewards over, rather than always trying to accept a portion the Lord has not given us. I have to prayerfully consider what is my portion, and not add anything (even something good!!) or neglect something (especially little somethings). And when we return to Jesus' summary of the law, my main "portion" is to know Him and love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Out of that love, I can then extend His love to others.

"We slander God by our very eagerness to work for Him without knowing Him." -Oswald Chambers

3. God has entrusted us with the ability to redeem!!

There is the ideal, what God intended.

There is our reality, which is broken and tainted.

And then, through Christ, there is the ability to redeem situations for His glory. This is part of bearing God's image.

So, it is wonderful when our kids encounter broken situations, to walk them through, "How can we redeem this situation in a way that shows God's love and goodness?"

I am so thankful for the relationships that were created, and I am excited to see what fruit the Lord brings out of our amazing time together in Colorado. (More stories to come!!)

Baptism

2011-08-01T13:39:00.001-07:00

Emma and Caleb were baptized on July 17th, 2011... It was a super sweet celebration of what the Lord has been doing in their hearts.

Here is Daddy walking out with them...

Emma so excited, coming out of the water with her arms up.

Caleb, fearful of the waves, but bravely wanting to obey Jesus.

It was a sweet day.

Colorado....

2011-08-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

Clay and Sally Clarkson have an amazing ministry called Whole Hearted Ministries. Much of their resources are devoted to encouraging homeschooling moms, moms in general, and families in general.

When we lived in the mountains, it was a rough time for most of us, I am not going to lie!! A sweet friend that I met shortly before we left gave me a book and encouraged me to read it. Now, I am a reader!!! But for some reason, I just didn't pick the book up. But I randomly packed it with me when we moved and unpacked it and knew where it was, still not reading it.

A dear friend of mine came back from a conference that Sally Clarkson had done, and she purchased a book for me called "The Mom Walk." She shared with me about the conference, and as I heard that name, Sally Clarkson, it dawned on me that the book I had been given, that was on a shelf nearby at that very moment, was also written by Sally Clarkson. Hmmmmm??? Think the Lord is trying to tell me anything???? So, I read both of the books, and needless to say, both have been a huge encouragement in my mothering journey.

I was able to attend Sally's conference two years in a row, and was so encouraged and blessed. Well, last year, Sally offered a Mom Heart Leadership Intensive to train moms to begin their own groups of ministering to moms. The Intensive was in her home in Colorado, and she only accepted 24 women from around the nation. Last year, we were growing so much in our love for the Lord, and having really been built up by our church, I thought it would be an amazing opportunity, so I applied. It was a pretty intense application, to tell you the truth, I can't even remember what I wrote!!! But, they were full, and I didn't give it another thought. In fact, I wasn't even able to attend the normal mom's conference this year, because I was pregnant with Judah and close to delivering, and just had a lot going on in general.

So.... I was pretty surprised last month when I received an email saying that because I had applied last year, they were giving me a first shot at this year. I thought, "Last year made sense!! This year does not!!!"

I thought for sure they wouldn't take me anyway since I would have to have Judah with me. But, they said it was no problem!! Oh man. Then, for some reason, the thought of flying with Judah and all the stuff we would need (car seat, stroller, etc.) plus a bad back made me kind of nervous. So, Ben suggested us all driving out as a family.

This just keeps getting better!! Then, our friends offered their cabin in Colorado for us to use. Then, because I have a nursing infant, I was going to have to pay a little extra for the hotel room because I would have my own room instead of sharing.... But, since they found out my family was coming, they upgraded us to a suite that would fit us all for the same price!!!

And so, Saturday, we leave on a family adventure. We shall see what God has for us. I am so excited, as are the kids, and Ben!!!! =)

Reading...

2011-07-27T14:48:00.000-07:00

Just finished two must-reads:

And:

I highly recommend both of these books. Francis Chan's book is a loving response to Rob Bell's book Love Wins. He quotes Rob Bell's book enough to get a strong feel for it, and yet lovingly corrects by expressing truth from God's Word.

Eim's book is fantastic. Very thought-provoking and extremely applicable as a mother.

Update...

2011-07-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

At Judah's 4 month check-up he was 17 lbs., 5 oz. (I think!), and 26 1/2 inches long. Not sure about the head size. Something ginormous, I am sure. Hahaha. The doctor said he looks like a 6 month old, and pretty much acts like a 6 month old. He has been rolling from tummy to back for a little while now, but about a week or so ago, I caught him rolling from back to tummy as well. He is a joy and pretty much the most exciting thing in our house. Second would be the new math books.

Happy Birthday Caleb...

2011-07-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Caleb,

I can't believe you are seven years old!! I can't believe that I am writing this in cursive and you can read it!! (I am copying the note Caleb received this morning.)

I am so thankful to be your mommy. You love God's Word, and you are learning more and more about how much we all need Jesus.

My prayer for you, Caleb, is that you would be amighty warrior for God's Kingdom, and that you would use your gifts and talents to serve Him.

I pray that God will be able to say the same thing about you that he said about the Caleb of the Bible, that "he has a different spirit in him and has followed me fully." (Numb. 14:24)

Love,

Mommy (and Daddy!)

This is a picture of you playing with your potato gun. =)

The millenium falcon cake.

Ballerina

2011-06-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

This past spring, Emma had the opportunity to take ballet lessons. It is amazing these days, how so many extra-curricular activities are available to children, and how tightly we can get roped into things, and how everything costs money. Evidently, all of her lessons were leading up to the program. So, then you have to buy a costume for the program. Then, the parents have to buy tickets (as well as any children that attend). Then you have to buy the program. They sell flowers, and refreshments, and you can purchase an "advertisement" in the program saying how wonderful your child is!!! I'm not saying these aren't wonderful things.... I'm just saying that we thought we were just signing up for ballet classes, we were not quite prepared for all that this entailed.

But at the end of the day, we had the experience, we are glad to be done, and Emma is indeed, a beautiful dancer. Very well suited for ballet.

Learning...

2011-06-22T18:39:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I have said this before or not, but two of my all-time favorite child training books are: Shepherding a Child's Heart, and Instructing a Child's Heart, both by Tedd Tripp. They are just a fantastic encouragement towards gospel parenting... going after the heart, not just behavior. Anyhow, my dear little Ezra is full of energy and sometimes quite a bit of mischief. I would say about 90% of my child training energy goes toward him right now, which is probably normal considering he is 2 and a half. But, he is also a little more, ahem, energetic (insert CRAZY!!) than the average child, so it requires more energy from me as well.

Well, I had a bittersweet encouragement last week. I found myself in a situation where I knew I had done the wrong thing. The Lord gently convicted me about it, and I had resolved in my heart that I would go to a friend and confess my sin and repent and ask for forgiveness. But I hadn't yet seen her, so there was a couple of days between the conviction and the confession. Those days stunk!! God was so gracious and tender, and I was still able to worship Him, but I felt sick. It was like my bones were rotting. (As a side note here, the confession went very well, and I was received with the utmost grace and mercy!!) But, in those days while I felt so uneasy, it reminded me of what I am doing when I discipline the kids. When they disobey, there is something between us, and between them and God. And after feeling that, I would never want to just leave them in that place, and not love them enough to confront their sin and deal with it quickly!!! I want them to have unhindered, unspoiled, beauty of relationship with their God and with Ben and I. And so, I have to keep on keepin' on. Trusting the Holy Spirit to give me the energy and strength to discipline. =)

I love you, Ezra Lucas.

"He who spares his rod hates his son,

But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

Proverbs 13:24

Almost 3 months...

2011-06-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

Judah is growing so quickly. He is getting to be a big boy!!! So, I thought it only fitting to go back a bit, and look at all the kids around this age:

Emma Faith Hester

Caleb Paul Hester

Noah Benjamin Hester

Ezra Lucas Knight Hester

Judah Sean Hester

It's kind of a fun when you have a big family-every time I look at Judah I see a little bit of everyone else. He is well loved!! He's about 15 pounds and I can't remember how long, but this kid is big. He is so much fun, and when he smiles at me, I can barely concentrate on anything else at all.

Smile!!

2011-05-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

To my Emma...

2011-05-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Emma,
Tomorrow, you will be eight years old. You have grown up so quickly. I love watching you practice your ballet; it seems that you are your happiest when you are dancing and swaying. There are so many things that my heart wants to say to you. I love you so much. I fear that as our oldest, you have borne the brunt of all our parenting mistakes!! You have borne them well. You have such a sweet, and tender heart. You love to help and to teach. You wanted (and still want!!) a little sister so badly, and yet you love Judah so much... Just this morning, you were agreeing with me, that Judah is a necessary part of our family.
I love you so much. I remember the days, when it was just you and I... and although that time was not long, we laughed and danced and had lots of fun. You have grown into such a "girly" girl. You love painting your nails, curling your hair, playing with make-up, and dressing in your fanciest clothes.
Oh Emma... I wish I could open my heart and show you everything there. Words fail me in this season of little sleep. But for now, it is enough to say with all of my heart that I love you. You have changed me, or rather, Jesus has changed me by allowing me to be your mom. You amaze me. You teach me more about Jesus and His love everyday. My heart's prayer for you is that you would love Jesus more than anything. And that as you love Him more, you would trust Him as your Good Shepherd, and that you would dance your way through this life more gracefully and sweetly than I have. I pray that you would learn to dance with your Heavenly Father, who has orchestrated a beautiful dance for you.... You can trust Him to be Good, and Faithful and True.
I love you Emma.
Happy Birthday.
Mommy

Real...

2011-05-05T14:58:00.001-07:00

My text to Ben this morning

with this picture:
"Oh man. The Lord knew I was going to need to sleep good last night.;) Judah's screaming, just cleaned up the second poop incident with Ezra, there's still pee covered up by a towel on the floor, and I've resorted to grading 4th grade math with a calculator. But we're choosing joy."

I am reading a children's version of one of my dearest favorites, Hind's Feet on High Places. It is sweet because it has devotional questions and verses, so I am going through it with Emma and Caleb during quiet time.
Today we read these two quotes which spoke sweetly to my heart:

"...the wild flowers have a wonderful lesson to teach. Many people live a quiet, ordinary life. Hardly anyone even knows about them, but their hearts are like delightful gardens where the King Himself walks and rejoices. Some of my servants have won great respect from other people and are famous, but always their greatest victories are like the wild flowers, those which no one knows about."

"...'the water seems to be singing so gladly because it is hurrying to go down into the Valley, and yet You are calling me to the High Places. What does it mean?'
'The High Places,' answered the Shepherd, 'are the starting place. It is only on the High Places of Love that anyone can receive the power to pour himself out and give to others.'"

Thank you Jesus. My heart needed that. =)

Stories...

2011-05-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today, I asked the kids to write stories for Grandpa for his birthday:
(I have tried to keep it like they wrote it, so there are misspelled words, and some other mistakes. I did include periods even if they were missing for readability. )

Emma, age 7 (for 2 more days):
Once Apon a time there was a ten year old girl named Jenny and she loved playing with five year old Sally. So she asked to babysit Sally but her mom and dad said she was to young. Jenny was sad but her mom said she could go to her Aunt's house. Then Jenny had an idea. Mom she said could I babysit Sally with Aunt Kate? Of course dear go get Sally and I'll drive you to Aunt Kate's.
The End

Caleb, age 6
Sarah was going to the fair with her doll Peg, her friend Joe and his dogs, Jim and James. When they got to the fair Sarah, Joe, Jim and James and Peg went to the roller coster but then Peg fell out. the roller coster stopped and they started looking for Peg. First they looked for her in the Haunted house. Then they looked for her in the video arcade. Then they looked in the minature golf. Then they looked in the pony ride and she wasn't there. They almost gave up when a clown walked up to them. He was holding Peg! Is this yours he said. Yes! said Sarah. Thank you!
The End

New Bibles....

2011-04-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

I know, it's lame. Here in America, we have ridiculous access to God's Word. But, there is something just so cool about getting a new Bible. Awhile back, Ben had gotten Emma and Caleb these little backpack Bibles, which they use for schoolwork, etc. NIV. Anyhow, Emma lost hers-we aren't sure if she left it at church or what. Anyhow, I went to get her a new one for her birthday, and couldn't find what I was looking for. As I was leaving, I remembered that Family Christian Stores was having a member special, a little ESV Bible for $5!! (This is Daddy's preferred translation). They had a beautiful cranberry-like color too!! So, I grabbed it and then remembered that I have been looking for a new Bible for myself for some time. I love my big 'ol honking NKJV Bible, but being a study Bible, the thing is huge. Lugging the diaper bag, the car seat with Judah, and my purse just doesn't lend itself to carrying around the big Bible, especially since I already have back trouble!!!
SO.... (to make a short story long!!!) I grabbed another of the little ESV Bibles, this one in black, and thought, as long as I can read the print, it will be perfect to put in the diaper bag!! Yay!!! But, on my way home, I got to thinking that when we do our morning Bible readings, Caleb reads half the chapter, and Emma reads the other. They follow along. And now, they would be reading from different translations. So, I decided to go ahead and give the little black ESV to Caleb so they could be reading the same version. But of course, then Noah wanted a new Bible. Caleb decided he would give his NIV backpack Bible to Noah. So he and Emma "surprised" Noah with it. And so, the sweetest thing last night was seeing the three bigger kids sprawled out in various places in the living room, all reading their new Bibles. (Sorry for the video quality, if it even works!! This is Noah reading Psalm 20:7)

Oh, Noah...

2011-04-27T07:36:00.001-07:00

Noah: Mom, is there another baby in your tummy?
Me: No...
Noah: Then when is your tummy ever gonna stop being big?

Ramblings...

2011-04-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

Ben and I are very slowly making our way through a cool little Bible study. We were both so struck by this last night:

(Jonathan Edwards on "common virtue" vs. "true virtue", using the virtue of honesty as an example:)

"In common virtue, you have not done anything to root out the fundamental cause of evil-the radical self-centeredness of the heart. You have restrained the heart's self-centeredness, but not changed it.

True virtue is when you are honest not because it profits you or makes you feel better, but because you are smitten with the beauty of God who is all truth and sincerity and faithfulness...That kind of motivation can only grow in someone deeply touched by God's grace...Consequently, our hearts are not just restrained but changed."

Seriously....

I am not sure how I can be expected to get anything done...

When I have this to sit and stare at. =)

But, was reading this morning and was praying this for the kids:

"Those who are planted in the house of the Lord
Shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bear fruit in old age
They shall be fresh and flourishing,
To declare that the Lord is upright;
He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him."
Psalm 92:13-15

Time Flies...

2011-04-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

I know, I have already been terrible about posting pics of the little man. It's easier to post on Facebook from my iPhone, but I can't post those to my blog. So it takes me awhile. I usually don't have much time to get on the computer. So, real quick here are some pictures, I can't believe Judah is almost a month old. Time is flying by... but slowly, we are finding our way into a new routine.

He loves morning time...

Am I boring him, or is he just tired?

I never get tired of looking at him.

Baby burrito!!

Noah is so excited about his new math book! I finally ordered it for him, after him telling me for quite some time now that he is "ready for math." He will probably have a change of heart soon, but for now he is very excited about it. He is starting with Saxon 1.

The boys reading together. Noah has an easy reader book that I got him. It's a big, huge Disney book, and I don't actually consider it "easy" reading because it is mostly words that don't follow the phonetic rules. Anyhow, I heard Noah tell Ezra, "Just a minute and I will read it to you." Noah was supposed to be reading through a word list of short "i" words, and I heard him reading the Disney book to Ezra. I started to scold him for not doing his work, and then realized, "DUH!!"... this was even better. =)

About the name...

2011-04-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

I wanted to get these stories down before I forgot them:

Last October, when we were in Palm Springs, we met a lady at the pool. She asked me what we were going to name our baby. At that point, we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. But I told her that if it was a boy, I wanted to name him Judah. Everybody has their reactions... she was obviously not excited about the name and said, "Eeew! It sounds like Judas!!" My dear friend Glory was with me and quickly said something about how Judah and Judas were very different!! Luckily I just laughed it off...

The next day, the lady was at the pool again and ran into Ben. She apologized and wanted to make sure she hadn't offended me, which Ben assured her she hadn't. But, I thought it was sweet because Ben got to explain who Judah was, one of the sons of Israel, and the tribe from which Jesus descended. Super cool. =)

Also, Ben and I had agreed to pray about what to name the baby, since we figured that God already knew his name, He just hadn't shared it with us yet. =) Anyhow, one morning, I felt that the Lord gave me these verses:

"He rejected the tent of Joseph; he did not choose the tribe of Ephraim, but he chose the tribe of Judah, Mount Zion, which he loves....

With upright heart he shepherded them and guided them with his skillful hand." Psalm 78:67-68, 72 (ESV)

I like the NKJV of verse 72, which says he "shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart."

My sweet little Judah Sean. Praise God who is gracious!!!

Growth....

2011-03-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

Growth is a good thing! It's really important to kind of stop every once in awhile, and make sure that things aren't stagnant... That you are growing in your love for Jesus and His Word, that you are growing in your relationships and your ability to love.

I can recall, especially as a new mom of my first baby, feeling so proud every time I went to the doctor and saw how the baby had gained weight or grown in length by inches.

But today, I looked down and saw that Judah was already outgrowing his clothes. I have to start busting into the 3 month drawer. Oh man, it breaks my heart. I know it's a good thing-it means he is eating well, he is healthy, he is growing.

But it also means that there is at least a tiny bit of growth in my own mama's heart... because I am learning how quickly it all passes. I am learning not to wish the moments away... I am learning to embrace the crazy, and cherish the moments, because tomorrow comes too quickly.

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen." 2 Peter 3:18

This is how Judah tried to come out, with his hand near his face... I find him like this quite often!

Judah Sean Hester

2011-03-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

Judah Sean Hester was born on March 18th, 2011. He weighed 9 lbs. even, and was 21 1/2 inches long. With a big head! =) His name means "Praise God who is gracious!" Judah means praise, and someone asked where we got the name Sean. Besides being a cool surfer name, we found it by searching for names that mean God is gracious. It just seemed the most fitting description for the past year or so.
*This is Judah's birth story, so if you don't like reading birth story details, then stop reading now.**

Anyhow, as most of you know, I had been having contractions for the last couple of weeks. They would come in regular intervals, and then putter out. Each time they came back they would be stronger. It was frustrating for me, as a momma for the fifth time, to feel like I had no idea what was going on, or when it was actually "time." Not to mention the fact that I was just bigger than I had been, so my heartburn was worse, my pubic bones were killing me, and the ultrasound and the midwife were both telling me that this was going to be a huge kid with a big head. So, I was pretty ready for him to come!! We had our homeschool co-op on Friday in Oxnard, which is about 40 minutes away, and Ben said he didn't feel comfortable with me going. I felt lame, but I went ahead and called and let people know I wouldn't be there.

Well, at least twice last week, I thought for sure this baby was coming. Contractions 3-4 minutes apart, things looking good. But I knew to wait, and they would go away, leaving me with little sleep, and getting frustrated. Thursday night, though, the contractions were coming, 3-4 minutes apart, with a lot of pain in my "area", so I thought maybe they might actually be dilating me. We called Karni (the midwife), and my mom, and both came over. Ben's adrenaline was flowing, we were all excited. The baby was coming!!! But alas, after about an hour, the contractions started to space out, and then they went away completely. Karni checked me and I was 80 percent effaced and only 2 cm dilated. That was my first exam, but I knew then, that this baby had changed his mind. So we sent everyone home. Karni had an appointment in Calabasas on Friday, which she was unsure if she should keep or not. I was frustrated. I told her, this baby is not coming.

About 4:30am, I woke up and started having contractions again. 3-4 minutes apart, definitely stronger and more intense. About 6:30, they started to space out to about 8 minutes apart. SERIOUSLY?? However, they were way more intense. Ben and I were trying to decide if he should go to work. We were pretty sure he would go, except that the contractions were intense enough that I didn't think I should be alone with the kids. Since we hadn't gotten much sleep, Ben decided to just take a vacation day and stay home. At 7:30am, Ben called Karni and just updated her on what was going on. She decided she would hang around Ventura. I felt hopeless, like I wouldn't know when to actually have her come. So I prayed that either my water would break, or that God would just put it on Karni's heart to know when to come! About 8:30am, Karni called and said she was heading our way, but she would stop for coffee. We called my mom to come over as well, but we knew she had to pick up my brother's kids at noon. About 9:15am, or so, both Karni and my mom were here. I went potty, and when I wiped, there was something weird. Ben and Karni came in and we all had a good laugh, as my bag of waters was bulging out of me!! AAHH! That is weird!! But, it meant that I was basically fully dilated. My contractions were still somewhere between 5-8 minutes apart, and not quite as strong, so we were waiting and thinking about pushing. Karni broke my water bag, and then things got crazy. She had me lay down, so baby's head could clear my pelvic bone. Then, I was kind of standing near the bed and the real work began. As I was pushing his head, Ben and Karni had me go REALLY SLOW because his head was REALLY BIG. It was super painful. Then, once his head was about stretching me to the fullest point, I had to sit and wait for the next contraction, at which point I thought I might pass out. =) Normally with my kids, once the head is out, the baby just flies out! Not this guy!! He had his hand up next to his face (probably trying to suck his thumb!) and so Karni moved his hand and Ben pulled him the rest of the way out and up to me. I had so many things running through my head... This was by far my most difficult and painful delivery. But, even now, I am amazed, how when that little one is in your arms....God's grace just covers it all.

Judah Sean Hester is amazing. He is utterly adored in this household. Emma wants to hold him all the time. Even Ezra has been pretty gentle with him. Newborns, I think, are such a perfect picture of the gospel. You love this person, not because of anything they do or don't do... You love them because of who they are. We are loved because of who Christ is, and because being united with Him makes us heirs, sons and daughters. We have performed so badly, but God treats us so kindly, because Christ has performed well on our behalf, and has made us sons and daughters.

Praise God, who is gracious.

Waiting...

2011-03-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

I think every pregnant mom finds those last few days/weeks just a tad difficult. The anticipation of the new little one, being huge, not getting sleep due to heartburn or just being uncomfortable. I am bigger this time than I have ever been. No, no... it's true. Many have confirmed it. My heartburn is worse, and I have this pelvic bone problem where I can't lift one leg at a time, or turn over without excruciating pain. I have what they call "prodromal labor" which means I get contractions, real ones, which will come regularly, and then go away. Makes it very difficult to know when the baby is ACTUALLY coming, but also tends to lend itself towards very quick deliveries (hence Ezra).

But, these last few days or so have reminded me that how we wait reveals a lot about our character. And boy, have I come up lacking. We have good days, where we still do some schoolwork, and we laugh and play Just Dance on the Wii trying to encourage baby to come and join this big, fun family. But other days... well, other days are just glaring reminders at how much I am lacking in character. I am so thankful that the Gospel is ever before me.... What perfect timing that we have been marinating in these truths: I HAVE PERFORMED TERRIBLY, and yet because of Jesus Christ, GOD TREATS ME SO KINDLY.

And His kindness comes in so many ways... like a mom, who lets me bring all the kids over and makes the waiting less.... miserable. This morning we made green shamrock pancakes for the kids, and then walked to the thrift store and SCORED on books, which has kept the kids happy for the rest of the day. Like fresh, yummy bread from Westridge Market.

It seems almost ironic that one of my favorite songs is John Waller's, "While I'm Waiting." I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting...

How you wait says a lot about your character...

And while my heart's desire is to wait for this sweet little one WELL, today I am basking in a Savior who performed well so that I can be treated kindly even when I don't. Thank you Jesus.

Almost Done....

2011-03-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

I know, I know... poor subsequent children who don't get as many pictures taken, or stories written down, or baby book entries as first kids. I feel like I have barely written anything about this pregnancy. But, even though I haven't written much, it doesn't mean that I marvel any less-in fact, I think it is the opposite. I may not have to time to record it all, but that's because I am too much in awe, just trying to take it all in. This time, I know what's happening-there's a baby inside of me, who will grow way too quickly into a little person, with tons of personality. And the love... man, I think on your second child you wonder how you will ever love another child the way you love that first one. But by this time... I am used to that amazing multiplication process, and I just know that my heart will feel like it will burst because there is just. so. much. love. In many ways, it already feels like that.

Today, I am feeling so many things. The rain is gently falling outside, and I am just keenly aware that soon, there will be a baby. This pregnancy has been a difficult one!! With my back trouble, and pelvic bone pain and heartburn which keep me up most nights.... And yet, I

am looking around our room thinking, "We're almost done. There's going to be a baby..." In some ways, it doesn't feel real. But in other ways, it is so close I can touch it and smell it. And so, I find this verse particularly relevant to my heart:

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope, because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body...If we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance...Likewise, the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses...." Romans 8:18-23,25,26a

Such a rich passage. So much to feast on. Such clear pictures for me right now. My body groans and aches to hold this little guy... I am eagerly waiting with perseverance. And praise be to Almighty God, whose Spirit helps us in our weakness....because right now, my weakness is great. =)

Ultrasound at 35 weeks: 1 1/2 hours in the waiting room with all four kids. Finally get in, they rush, rush, inform me that baby's head is measuring 39 weeks, and he is already 7 lbs. REALLY????? Because my biggest baby was 7lbs. 4 oz. So, yeah.... this should be interesting.

A lesson on prayer....

2011-02-19T08:46:00.000-08:00

Noah came in early one morning and was sad that he couldn't find his toy airplane. He said, "Mom, I want you to pray with me that God will help me find it." So, I did.

About ten minutes later he runs in, excited, "Mom!! I found the airplane!!" So we stopped to thank God for answering our prayers.

I think it was a couple of hours later, but sweet Noah came to find me and said, "Mom! We can't find Caleb's lego lightsaber. Will you pray with me that we find it?"

How To....

2011-02-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

Make 11 Years Fly By!!!

1. Get married young.

2. Have some good, clean...weird, fun.

3. Have lots of beautiful, talented children REALLY close together.

4. Follow Jesus wherever He takes you!!!

(we moved 6 times in two years!!!) Sorry, I can't get pictures of all the places, we have a lot of pictures!!!

The Wabern house, and the little cabin...

Matilija St., with the awesome garden, and Descanso-where we have spent the last 3 and a half years....

To be continued....

Such an honor...

2011-02-09T19:58:00.000-08:00

Tonight, we finished the biography of George Muller. It was so neat to finish, but both Ben and I had this bittersweet feeling... like we were really going to miss George. It has been such a privilege to take a look at this man's life, and how his willingness to obey God and trust Him for everything changed countless lives.

But, it also got me thinking about the last year, or two, or three, and what a privilege it has been to read such amazing stories as a family. These stories that we have read are a part of us, our family. Hopefully, they are shaping us together, and our character, and making us think more about our God and His beautiful story.

It has truly been an honor George Muller, to share your part in God's story. Oh Lord, may we be faithful with our part in Your beautiful story.

Up Next: Adara.... set in the time of Naaman and Elisha. Should be a great read!!

Much needed quote

2011-01-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

To manage a life of pain, as a believer in Jesus, remember: This is all the hell you will ever bear. (M'Cheyne)

I read this quote this morning, and it was exactly the reminder I needed. My back has been "out" again, and causing a lot of pain. If I am honest, my body was giving me warning signs for about a week. But I didn't listen. Which, at this point, I think we can all agree, was just a little stupid. This is my first pregnancy with the back trouble. (And most likely, the last, although that is a whole new post and many prayers and tears away). But anyhow, Ben stayed home from work on Monday, to help take care of me. I got a massage, and was feeling better. I had Grammie and Grandma all lined up to help with Ezra so that Ben could go back to work. Tuesday morning, I woke up, still quite sore and moving very slowly, but moving nonetheless. Got some coffee and some toast and was heading back down the hallway. And, then, it went!! I was fortunate enough to make it to a chair in our bedroom. I was in so much pain, but I knew no matter how bad it hurt, I had to make it to the bed. So I did. But, I was in a lot of pain, even after getting there, and couldn't move at all. I am normally pretty quiet about pain, but I heard Noah say, "Mom is hurting so bad, I heard her say 'Aah!!'"

Caleb came in and asked if they could pray for me. Then I heard him go back in their room and say to the others, "Okay, let's lift our hands to the sky!" I also heard him ask, "Okay, how many of you think that God is going to answer?" (On a side note, I think it's totally awesome that our family size is so big that one of them can ask a questions like "how many of you???" as if there are soooo many!!!)

Ben came home quickly and despite my tears and moans was able to get me turned over. Just kept having spasms in my back. Very painful. The thought crept in, "I can't do this!" It has been kind of a painful couple of years, between the trigeminal neuralgia, then the back stuff, etc. But God is so gracious and faithful, I knew people must have been praying for me, because I corrected my thinking. "I can do this." We are going to make it. One day at a time. And so, this quote was particularly meaningful to me this morning. The Lord is walking us through. Praising God for the prayers of my kids. He is using even pain to shape them into prayer warriors. (They made a "prayer club" for me.) Praising God for my husband's job, which has allowed him to be home with me when I needed him so desperately. (Another side note: as he was helping me try to get to the bathroom, I had my arms wrapped around him, and I told him, "Ahhhh, best part of my day.")

Praising God for family and friends that are willing to help and to pray and to care.

Praising God that in my greatest pain, I still know remarkably little of it.

Have been super encouraged by the song, "I love your presence." Here's a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prbw1s5gVX8

Baby Update...

2011-01-19T15:24:00.000-08:00

Man, I have been really bad at even mentioning this new child which will be coming soon. He seems to just go with the flow.

At church, we are going through the book of Philippians, and we just had an awesome sermon on not worrying (see Ch. 4) Anyhow, the question was asked, "What is keeping you from sleeping?" (Obviously meaning, what are you worrying about?) But I had a little giggle as my answer went through my head, "My bladder, my esophagus, and my pelvic bones!!"

I saw the midwife today, and she went through the kit I need to order, and things we need to have ready for the homebirth. She said the baby is head down, and it seems as though (his) head is quite tucked in there. Similar to Emma, she had a little bruise on her head from hanging out so low in there. =)

Anyhow, I am getting really excited to meet this little one.

The Power of Jesus!

2011-01-18T21:35:00.001-08:00

Tonight, we have my two nieces, Cadence and Lyric staying the night. We were reading a Bible story about Jesus walking on the water. We got to the part where Peter asks to come out of the boat, and he walks on the water. Noah exclaimed, "It was the power of Jesus!!"

I love the way he tells the story. =)

New Season....

2011-01-13T21:31:00.000-08:00

We have never been much for organized activities. For many reasons, but as the kids get a little older, we are now taking advantage of some of the neat opportunities here in town:

The little Miss, in a long-awaited ballet class.

Noah in pee-wee soccer, loving it and already loving on his coach. He is a goofball!!

Caleb in his guitar class. Only four kids, and he is so excited.

So, we will try this out and see how it works having places to go and things to do. At least until we have another little person around, then it will really be a whole new season altogether. =)

The World of Homeschooling...

2011-01-13T06:59:00.000-08:00

We are really enjoying the use of Rod and Staff books for English. This is our first year using them. I had researched until my face turned blue, and purchased Shurley English. When I received the books, something just felt a little overwhelming about them. So, I waited. A couple of days later, a dear friend went through the FREE table at our homeschool co-op and picked up both the Teacher Book and the Student Book for Rod and Staff. One good look at it, and I knew it was a good fit. Very thorough, but super simple. No overkill. So, this year we are "Building with Diligence", and I thought I would share a sweet little poem from the book. These poems are sprinkled throughout.

"A Wise Old Owl"

A wise old owl

lived in an oak;

The more he saw,

the less he spoke;

The less he spoke,

the more he heard.

Why can't we all

be like that bird?

-Edward Hersey Richards

We are still using one of my favorites: The Greenleaf Guide to the Old Testament.

And we are loving Window on the World as we pray for other countries and people groups.

Still using Veritas Press history cards, although I found myself not enjoying Greek Myths as much as we had previously. Still using Saxon Math, and it is working out just great. Oh, yes, and we only do this on Mondays, but it is still a favorite for us all:

Last year we read through "Missionary Stories with the Millers" and loved it. So this has been a really sweet journey through Proverbs.

Other than that, we have a really sweet line-up of read alouds, some cool comprehension guides to go alongside some of the kids' reading, and some things that we just haven't even touched because I was advantageous in my planning.

What are some of your favorite things???

George Muller

2011-01-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to make those cute marks above the "u". Oh well. Anyhow, our family read-aloud is a biography on George Muller. Man, these authors did a great job... everyone is enjoying it. We can hardly wait to read a chapter or two each evening. Not to mention, it is such an amazing testimony of God's work in the life of an ordinary man.

Well, we have a couple of things coming up which we are not quite, *ahem* financially prepared for. So, it seemed only obvious that we would pray George Muller style. This guy is so cool. He is so certain and sure of God's provision, and as a result, God proves Himself faithful over and over again. His sweet wife certainly got used to using the phrase, "Do whatever you think is best, George."

Ben and I had a really sweet prayer time, and we are trusting God to meet our needs. And to show us when we have thought of some wants as needs, as we certainly have a way of doing. But I found it so *interesting* this morning, in a book I am reading called, "Violent Prayer" by Chris Tiegreen, that he references George Muller, and his prayers of faith, believing and trusting in God's absolute provision.

God's timing is perfect.

Thought-provoking....

2010-12-18T11:35:00.000-08:00

"Mr. Carter, do you expect the world to 'pad their corners' for you, because you are blind?"

(excerpt from our current family read-aloud, "Follow My Leader.")

This quote was especially thought-provoking for me last night. I really mulled it over in my mind. As we homeschool, there are so many philosophies and paradigms and ways of thinking.

Each family is so unique, and must submit to the Holy Spirit and discern wisely what is best for their children. In our approach, we wanted to start with God, and His Story among the nations... including the ugliness of idols, sin, wickedness, and war and gore, and tell His story of redemption. Now, this is not to say that we never censor anything!! (And of course, each individual child is different in what they can handle, and age is a factor here too). In fact, we find ourselves on the very conservative end of movies that we allow, music, etc. But what I loved about this quote is that it reminded me to examine myself, and to ask myself whether I am preparing my children for "sharp corners" in this world, by talking with them, answering questions, making them aware of certain things, or am I am padding the corners, teaching them to expect the world to change for them? Because this world is full of ugliness. But it is also full of beauty. And this world is not going to change for them. But, one day, this whole world will once again bow in submission to it's Lord, and it will all be changed and made glorious. I don't want to "pad the corners", but I do want to make them aware that there are some sharp ones out there.

Decorating Grandma's Tree...

2010-12-16T07:43:00.000-08:00

We asked our kids what some of their favorite Christmas traditions were... and of course, decorating Grandma and Grandpa's tree was high on the list!! So we got together with the cousins and had a blast. Ezra was sick that evening, so he missed out. But the older kids enjoyed themselves immensely:

Uncle Scott and Ethan finishing up the tall places.

The finished product. =)

I had a couple of adorable videos of the kids singing some Christmas songs, but unfortunately, the annoying pregnant lady leading them in song can be heard much too loudly. We will try again soon.

The Nutcracker Ballet...

2010-12-16T07:30:00.001-08:00

Well, for our special Christmas date, Ben took both Emma and I to the Nutcracker Ballet. It was very exciting, because at age 7, Emma really is the perfect age. It was her first time going to a real ballet. And to top it off, it was a local ballet company which included a young woman from our homeschool co-op, who played the role of the Snow Queen, among other things.

It was a delightful evening, and our sweet girl seemed to feel loved and treasured all around.

Oh, how she loves that Daddy of hers....

We were able to find some suitable souvenirs, including a Clara ornament (holding her Nutcracker, of course), as well as three small Nutcracker ornaments, each in a different color for the boys.

Emmanuel....

2010-12-08T07:20:00.000-08:00

One of the things that just amazes me about the living God, is that He knows us each so intimately, and allows us to know Him. It is astounding to think about coming to know Him, but it is, at times, even more astounding to think that I am known by Him.

"But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him." 1 Cor. 8:3

Anyhow, for the last couple of years at Christmas time, I have just been amazed, and in awe of this concept: Emmanuel, God with us.

I love the Casting Crowns song:

God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel...

As a momma, we all go through different seasons. There are seasons where you feel like you can barely catch your breath. Like the waves are crashing over you and you just don't have enough in you to do all that needs to be done, taken care of, disciplined, washed, and put away. The Lord was so sweet to me. I was at our homeschool co-op, feeling like I had just barely made it there. I was scheduled to be on prayer team, which is normally my favorite, but for some reason, I just wanted to sit in a chair and not get up (and eat the delicious food!). (The Lord KNOWS me so well!!) Well, for some reason, that day, none of the food was appetizing. So, no reason to stay and eat... might as well go pray!! It ended up being me with two other lovely, godly women. One of which has 8 kids!! They so sweetly encouraged me and prayed for me, and then we all in turn praised God and prayed for the other families there in the co-op. But my dear friend with 8 children (most of whom are grown now) said something, something that would not have meant the same to me unless the Lord had already been working out this awe of Emmanuel in my heart.

She said, "There were days I would come to the door, holding the baby. My husband would walk in the door and ask what we did that day. I would tell him, 'Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We didn't get anything done for school, we didn't clean. Nothing!' And he would respond...."But, who was with them?" "I was." "That's all I ask. That you are with them."

I thought about that.... It is amazing that our truest, greatest need is to have the wrath of God removed from us. And the way that God did that was to be with us. For Christ to enter in, to be near us, to be for us, to be with us. And then He bore that wrath on our behalf.

Being a mom, especially of a large family, is sometimes exhausting, overwhelming.... And homeschooling sometimes adds a responsibility that can make you lose sight of what you started in the first place. But as I relayed the story to my husband, he emphatically agreed that my job is not to produce rocket scientists, or presidents, or engineers. My job, is to be with them. My job is character training, under the leadership of Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit. My job is to be honest about my own failures and short comings, and to always point them to Christ, who bore God's wrath on my behalf too! And what the Lord develops from their personalities and their gifts.... well, that's His job.

I saw this verse in a new way this week... I have had the first part heavy on my heart the last two years, the second part was heavy on my heart this week:

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27

Just trying to spend my time with the kids these days being with them. Not distracted, not busy, not overwhelmed.... just with them. And whatever we get "done" is just a bonus. (I do normally find that when I am truly "with them", we seem to accomplish so much more. Hmmmm......)

Park Day!!

2010-11-19T08:13:00.000-08:00

A day at thepark with our homeschool friends.

Our friends, Kristen and Micah.

My crazy climber.

We had five moms, and 15 kids. How fun! The other kids were playing too hard for me to get many good pictures. =)

Halloween

2010-11-19T07:59:00.000-08:00

The Whole Gang (Daddy was taking the picture)
Obi-wan Kenobi (when he is old, hence the beard drawn by Daddy)
Luke Skywalker
Spider baby
Prairie Girl
Momma had been sick, so we either wore what we had, or did some last minute costume creation. We headed up to Ojai Valley Baptist Church for their Harvest Festival. We saw so many good friends, and had a great time.

Palm Springs

2010-11-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

Wow, we had such a great time. I don't really know where to start, or finish, except to say that the Lord knew our family needed this time away together, and it was made even more sweet by time with friends from church and our homeschool co-op. We celebrated Noah's 4th birthday there, and had movie night at our hotel room with 17 kids!! We hope we will be able to go back every year!!

The Birthday Boy!

Ezra in the kiddie pool-only a foot deep!

Emma and her friend Savannah riding scooters!

Carmel Apple night!

Apple picking!!

2010-11-19T07:25:00.001-08:00

Okay, so this is old news, but I just uploaded pics from my camera.

A few of us homeschooling moms made the drive up to Solvang for apple picking. You can see that when just a few of us get together, there ends up being quite a gang. I think we had almost 20 kids. =)

And Noah!!!

2010-11-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Noah,

You are four!! You were so excited to turn four, and since then, you have done many things, "because I am four." You like to eat beans, because evidently, four year olds like beans.

We celebrated your birthday during our vacation in Palm Springs. You still had donuts, and friends over to share them. We had a movie night in our hotel room on your birthday with 17 other kids!!

You are such a special little boy. Sometimes, it seems like you are living in your own little world, but it must be a fun one!! Your smile lights up a room. You are a goofball!! You are learning to read ("The cat ran fast.") You love doing school work like your big brother and big sister. You LOVE legos, especially Star Wars legos like brother. You run on your own timetable. The other evening, we had finished dinner and momma was starting to clean up, while you were at the table. You looked up at me and said, "Mommy, you're beautiful." And then you smiled that "million dollar smile" that made me feel like nothing else in the world can.

We pray that your heart of love will be filled with compassion, just like Jesus' was. And that your smile will touch hearts and lives for His glory. And that just maybe, the people who feel like they have no place, will spend a day in your world with you, and find the hope of Jesus and the love of a Savior. We love you Noah!!

Ezra....

2010-11-04T07:28:00.001-07:00

Dear Ezra,

You are two now!! You know, I already had two boys before you came along, but nothing really prepared me for you. You are such an amazing boy, full of life and personality. Before you were 6 months old, my main describing word for your personality was "tenacious." I continue to maintain that position. When you see something you want, you go after it until you get it. I never baby-proofed the house for any of the kids until you came along-and then, it didn't matter because you would figure out how to get around it, or overcome it by brute force. You have the best belly laugh... I could tickle you for days, just to hear you laugh. You think you are a big kid, and want to do everything that "Emma", "Pau", and "Wo-wa" do.

You have such a special connection with Daddy. I don't know if it is because he delivered you, or not, but you sure do love your Daddy. You usually prefer to be with him. (But, you sneak me all kinds of special hugs and kisses while he's gone at work). You are learning all kinds of words everyday, but you usually like to leave the endings off of them. You love to ride your "bike", which is brother's Razor scooter. It's kind of scary to see you on that thing, but we just put on your helmet and let you go, because containing you is even more of a problem. =)

You bring so much joy and excitement to our house. We love you so much, and we pray that your tenacity will be of great service to the Lord for His Kingdom.

Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-18T08:24:00.001-07:00

We met Ryan and Kelly (and the girls) at the Pumpkin Patch and Kelly took some amazing pictures. I cannot believe she got this one with all of us looking!! Hahaha. We didn't do the hay ride, or the maze, or come home with a pumpkin. Those things cost money! But, thankfully, making memories doesn't cost anything, so we opted for that.

Mycenean Culture

2010-09-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

So, we use the Veritas History Cards, and have enjoyed them quite well. I am hoping to do a post soon on homeschool books and tools that I love. But for today....

Veritas is now offering their history courses online, as self-paced classes. They offer a free 30 day trial, so we started the Greece and Rome trial. It was so helpful, and really kept me on track on days that I wasn't feeling well. But, both Ben and I were not very pleased with the brother and sister (teaching the class) and the way they interacted with each other. So, we are back to "normal" school, without the fun online course, but enjoying ourselves nonetheless. Finishing up the overview of Mycenean Culture with a beautiful picture of God's word. Today we made pottery with clay, and once they dry, we will paint them with beautiful colors.

"The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: 'Arise and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause you to hear My words.' Then I went down to the potter's house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.

Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: 'O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?' says the Lord. 'Look, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!'" Jeremiah 18:1-6

We had a wonderful discussion time, as we used water to smooth out the cracks in our clay, and as we shaped our pots, we talked about God shaping us and smoothing out the cracks and making us into a useful vessel.

In awe...

2010-09-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." Jeremiah 1:5

What an amazing thought... that even now, God is knitting this little one together, and this child is known by God.

First Day...

2010-09-23T13:53:00.001-07:00

It was the first day of our homeschool co-op. The kids were so excited!! Ezra didn't want to be in a stroller, he wanted to walk like a big boy with his backpack on.

Emma's Classes:

1. Art for Kids

2. Land Animals (Apologia science)

3. Fun Games that Teach

Caleb's Classes:

1. Kids in the Kitchen

2. Land Animals

3. Just for Kicks (Tae Kwan-Do)

Noah is in the K-4 class (kindergarten), and Ezra is in the toddler class.

I am an assistant for Papercrafting, and teaching Math Fun.

On Choosing Joy...

2010-09-23T13:40:00.000-07:00

So, a few of my homeschooling momma friends from church decided that we would try to get together once a month to encourage each other and pray together for our families. We are also going through an amazing book called "Seasons of a Mother's Heart" by Sally Clarkson.

This past month we were discussing the first chapter. It was about choosing to be thankful and learning to be content. The Lord convicted my heart again, that in the midst of a season where there are some difficult days (especially where I am laying on the couch not feeling well), that I can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, choose joy. Here is an amazing little nugget for you, then the story...

"The joy-filled life is not found by trying to diminish God-given responsibilities as a woman, wife, and mother, nor can I find joy merely by refusing to face the hard realities of life in a fallen world. There is a tension that God is asking me to acknowledge and accept-the tension between the "ideal life" and "daily realities." That is where Jesus meets me, where his Holy Spirit empowers, and where I learn how to live the Christian life with supernatural joy."

Isn't it sweet of our Lord to give us opportunities to practice?? So, I was not feeling well, my tummy was doing flip-flops, my head was pounding, and we were on the way home from grocery shopping and a last-minute library run. I had been reading to Ezra and Noah a story about ten rubber ducks, and Ezra was making a very cute, low and bellowing "quack" sound, copying me. So, on the way home, we were quacking for Ezra, and he would copy us, and it was all very cute. Unfortunately, one of the kids decided it would be more fun to get Ezra to "ROAR", which he does at the *top* of his lungs.

Everyone is roaring, my head is pounding, and the thought rolls into my mind: "choose joy."

So, for the next 15 minutes, Ezra would yell, "Mommy!! Mommy!!" And I would say, "Yes, baby." And he would yell, "Dis. (This) ROAR!!!"

And we all chose joy. And even though it is not always quite as easy or sweet, our choice was rewarded each time with the belly laugh of an almost two year old, content that he had pleased his audience. =)

Pictures

2010-09-11T09:41:00.001-07:00

I finally downloaded the pictures from my camera. There were 555. Wow. It takes forever to upload them, so I will just pick a few highlights from the summer....

The swimming hole with some friends!

The "Noah" room for Vacation Bible School. That was a lot of work, but it was a blast. My friend Kristin said to me that week when I had a bad headache, "Oh, maybe you're pregnant!!" Hahaha.

The beach with friends. Ben was surfing with a friend, and then let all the kids take turns on the surfboard.

It was a great summer. It feels like it went by so fast!! But we made some great memories and had tons of fun with friends and family. We have so much to be thankful for.

First Midwife Meeting...

2010-09-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

We finally met with a midwife here in Ventura, seeing as how we really want a midwife assisted home birth. Things went well, and I am so anxious to begin care with the amazing women at Sunrise Birth Center. I will concurrently be seeing Dr. Cole, who is covered on my insurance as part of the "back-up" emergency plan. Not necessarily super excited about that (although not because of Dr. Cole, we like him, and he delivered two of ours). Just not anxious to begin denying all those tests, and having them all hate me. =)

But at the close of our first meeting, Karni, the midwife decided to get out the doppler and let us hear the most beautiful sound... baby's heart, beating away. I felt so much joy, and awe, amazement, and wonder, I cried. It was so beautiful.

Evidently this baby really likes Nutella, which we just discovered yesterday. Salad, but that's normal. Not super into meat right now, although sometimes at the right occasion.

You would think that it would start to get old, being baby number five. On the contrary, I am filled with more awe and wonder at the creativity of our God each time. He amazes me over and over again.

Ezra and the scooter...

2010-09-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

He's enjoying it so much, he snuck it inside the house last night and was riding it around. Don't worry, it found its way back outside. =)

Ezra loves to talk, including, "Tank too, Mommy" and "Up, pee..." (up please.) He is a busy boy, but sweet and full of a little mischief. He can climb just about anything... making bed time difficult since we can no longer contain him! Before meals, he will fold his fingers and say, "Na,na, na, na... (thank you, thank you Jesus, we love you....) and then when I say Amen! he opens his hands and smiles big!!

An Old Friend...

2010-08-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

Have you heard the saying "books are friends"? Well, in the past few days of feeling yucky, I revisited two of my most dear friends. These two books have, aside from God's Word, had the deepest and most far-reaching impact of any other books. And I love to read.

The first is (I apologize, I don't know how to underline on here??) "Hinds' Feet on High Places", and the second is its sequel, "Mountains of Spices", both by Hannah Hurnard.

These beautiful allegorical books detail the journey of Much-Afraid, as she follows her Shepherd on a journey to the High Places, and is transformed. The second is her journey back into the Valley of Humiliation, from where she came. I don't know what it is... Yes, I have read Pilgrim's Progress, and even the children's version with the kids. But, the thing that struck me the most, even this time around all over again, is the beauty of the relationship between the Shepherd and His followers. The reminder that it is not even His promises, as wonderful as they are, that I really want at the very core of me... it is Him.

So, many tears over the past couple of days, but I will leave you with just one of my favorite quotes which are so dear to my heart:

"My Lord--if you can deceive me, you may. It can make no difference. I must love you as long as I continue to exist. I cannot live without loving you."

The Announcement Post

2010-08-25T22:29:00.000-07:00

We are expecting Baby Hester #5!!!

Okay, so remember when I had trigeminal neuralgia? I had to stop nursing Ezra and it was made clear that I should not be pregnant while on the medication. So, we were so very careful, and made sure to prevent as best as we could (without permanent decisions or the use of any hormonal forms of birth control, which is also, a whole different post.)

So anyhow, when I got off the medication, we needed to address the issue of irregular bleeding that I was having. It was making our planning a little more difficult. Ben kept reminding me to go to the doctor, but it was hard to remember!! I know, I know. Anyhow, finally got the appointment, had to wait like, two more months to be seen. Then, the appointment came and they rescheduled me! By the time I finally got in, they asked, of course, when was the last time you were bleeding? My answer? Oh, about two weeks ago. They were going to run a full blood panel, including a pregnancy test which I thought was just plain silly. Ha! But, it peaked my curiosity. So, at home I took a home pregnancy test, and lo and behold!! It was positive. So, I checked the calendar and oops! It had been a month since I was bleeding. (This is kind of a side note, but isn't it super cool that the Lord totally took care of the bleeding issue?)

Emma is fervently praying for a sister and has recruited Caleb and Noah to pray with her. When I first found out, with all my hormones going nuts, I said to Ben, "Oh no! We are going to be that crazy family with ALL those kids! We will be like the Ojai Duggars!!" My dear husband chuckled and said, "Uh, we kind of already are..."

Oh, yes. That's right. Well, then... I'm okay with that. I like our people.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them..." Psalm 127:3-5a

Growing Pains...

2010-08-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

I remember having growing pains as a kid. They would keep me up at night. My brother, who is now 6'5", had them really, really bad. I try to remember that, so I can be sympathetic to the kids when they have growing pains. The rice packs seem to help, and occasionally a glass of "special milk" (warm milk with a little sugar and some vanilla!). Sometimes I rub their little legs. Sometimes we pray...

But there are other "growing pains", and these are the kind we are dealing with now. With most growth, there is some pain. And when you grow rapidly, there is sometimes more pain. So, our little Hester family has been having some growing pains. *Deep breath*

We are expecting another little Hester. Around the end of March. (This is a whole different post).

But, since Momma hasn't been feeling so hot, this requires something of everyone. We are learning ways to adapt. And, this new season has revealed attitudes and gunk and muck that is in need of some work. We have had some unwelcome visitors including:

quick to irritation, quick to anger, quick to argue, and slow to be gentle and understanding. We have heard the, "Why do I have to...?" and the "I always have to..."

We have good days and bad days. But, I try to remind myself that it is all part of growing. Not only is our family growing, but we have all been given the opportunity to be stretched. To cultivate long-suffering. And unfortunately, every display of selfishness and irritation is before me like a mirror, reminding me to check my own heart to see if long-suffering can be found. We are growing... and with that comes some pain. But the Lord is faithful; His mercies are new every morning, and they cover and heal more than rice packs and "special milk" anyway. =)

And isn't it the neatest thing when you actually get to see growth? The kids love looking at the door and seeing the marks get higher and higher as they grow taller. Well, in His mercy, God has allowed us to see glimpses of growth. The most amazing one... has been my dear husband. He has lovingly served us, he has patiently and tenderly cared for me. He has grown, and the growth is amazing.

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful who also will do it." 1 Thess. 5:23-24

The Fair...

2010-08-17T20:38:00.000-07:00

As we were walking through the fair, I heard a Grandma say to her grandchild, "Oh, you can have whatever you want...as long as it's not healthy!" I chuckled.

What did we do at the fair?
Funnel Cake...

Corn on the Cob...

Yummy pretzel!!

Cotton Candy...

Shaved ice...

Cars...

Spinning cups (with Grandma!)

Helicopters...

The Ferris Wheel (with Grandma!!)

The Bumpy Slide...

And oh yes, can't forget the ice cream on the way home.

Now that was a fun day. Nothing healthy going on here. =)

Rambling...

2010-08-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

It's amazing, actually, how long it has been since I posted a blog entry. There are lots of reasons why-my MAC is dead, awaiting a new powercord, I haven't uploaded any pictures from my camera or my phone, and I can't post onto the blog from the phone. Well, and the four kids. But really, this last month and a half has left me with very little words in the blogging world. Life in general, with four little people under 7 is kind of crazy already. I had all the intentions of continuing our schooling throughout the summer. We go year round, since we plan for four days of school per week, and are lucky if we get two good days out of that. =) True confessions. But anyhow, there has been no school. But, there has been learning, and there has been life, and that's more important anyway.
Grief has been a really strong component to the last few weeks. My sister-in-law's sister (hopefully I haven't lost you already) was tragically killed in a car accident. Then, two weeks later, I got a call from a friend at the hospital--her 18 year old son died in a skateboarding/car accident. And this past week, a really close friend of mine miscarried. And during all this, Daisy Love (our pastor's daughter) has had to return to all the chemo, this time even stronger and more aggressive since her cancer came back so quickly.
It is so painful to watch the people you love hurting. You want so badly to help, but there is One Comforter, One Helper...all you can do is point back to Him and His Word. It is in many ways, a great privilege, to walk alongside those that you love, and encourage them to press deeper into Jesus. And yet still painful.
But there is that tiny, nagging feeling in my heart that reminds me that I really haven't suffered a day in my life. I mean, sure, I have gotten sick, or had rough times, and felt pain so deep you don't think you can breathe. But really, when I think about it, I have been hidden so safely in the cleft of the rock. I have four healthy, beautiful, amazing little people whom I have the privilege of being home with everyday. We have a house to live in. With a backyard and two bathrooms, because you know everyone has to go at the same time. We have two cars. And no car payments. I have an oven that works. And was free (My oven broke. We didn't know what to do, didn't really have the money. A church friend was remodeling and ***happened*** to be getting rid of her wall oven that fit my opening. And this was no small task.).
I am kind of just rambling tonight, probably feeling guilty for not blogging, and partly not having a clear direction anyway. Just knowing that this month, I have been more thankful. And my heart's prayer has just been that God would make me faithful, and give me the grace to walk in whatever He has for me. One day at a time.

A little late, for my Caleb Paul

2010-07-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Caleb,

This past week, you turned six years old. I can barely believe that you, my sweet baby boy, are six years old. You have grown so much. You are getting quite tall. You love to read. You have read all of the books in the Chronicles of Narnia series. I am learning not to doubt your comprehension. =) You love riding your bike, and your scooter. You love weapons of all kinds, and you love building all kinds of things with legos. You have recently become interested in Star Wars. For your birthday, we allowed you to watch Episode 4 with Momma and Daddy. It took us three nights to watch it all!!

For your birthday, you received a tennis racket. You recently started tennis lessons, and your friends Josh, Jillian, and Mia are in the class with you. You really wanted a puzzle with more than 100 pieces, so we got you a 550 piece puzzle of your own. You are an observer. You catch things that I don't always expect you to catch. You recently got to go shooting with Daddy for the first time.

I could tell, on your birthday, that you felt so special and loved and valued. You walked tall, but you were not too proud. You are doing so much better about not giving "full vent to your anger." You love to read your Bible. You always get ahead of us in our reading.

You are the one who always has a hug for mom. You remind me of your Daddy in many ways. We love you so much, Caleb Paul Hester. This has been a wonderful year of growth for you. You know how to add with regrouping, and subtract with regrouping. We have learned so much about Ancient Egypt, and we have read great books, and we have loved the Best Book. You are a treasure. We pray that you would live up to your name, Caleb, which means faithful. That you would love Jesus more and more each day, and that one day, you will be an arrow that will fly from us and do great damage against the kingdom of darkness in the name of the One who is the Light.

We love you.

pics...

2010-06-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

Outside the zoo, at the end of the day. =)
The whole gang... at Balboa Park
Ancient Egyptian princess
Building a block pyramid

Blogging catch-up

2010-06-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

You would think in this age of technology, that I would be able to keep up with blogging. But I can't. Life keeps going, at the speed of light, it seems, and I am just hanging on for dear life. But, I suppose it's a good problem to have--we have been living so much of life that we don't have time to write about it!! Well, that, and it takes me about an hour to upload one photo, so I have kind of lost the drive to wait around. However, there are some things that I don't want to forget!! So, here goes:

More hard lessons:

For our schooling, we were reading a book called, "The Hundred Dresses." A quote (not in the book) that the kids had to respond to in their Story Journal, in relation to the story was:

"To remain silent, when one should protest, makes cowards of men." (This quote is attributed both to Ella Wheeler, and to Abraham Lincoln).

Anyhow, we went on a little field trip with some friends. The kids had fishing poles, and there was a little dock with a sign that said, "No fishing." As we headed toward the dock, a man reminded the kids as they came close that they were not to fish on the dock. So, some people in the group decided to go ahead and fish, but I told my kids that we needed to respect the rules and not go fishing. The kids were fine, they hung out by the shore. After a while, Emma asked if she could return the fishing pole she was borrowing to a friend who was out on the dock, and then sit and watch them fish. Now, the obvious answer here is no, but my brain wasn't working right so I said yes. Just as we got out on the dock, a worker came and reprimanded all of us for making a wrong choice, and leading our children into that same wrong choice. He was, of course, right. But, what a great conversation it made on the drive home, as we had just finished "The Hundred Dresses", and had this discussion in regards to the quote above. It was a good chance for me to confess my cowardice (not knowingly, or intentionally, but by not carefully thinking it through) in not speaking up.

San Diego:

As our study of Ancient Egypt comes to a close, Emma requested that we visit a museum that had "Ancient Egypt stuff." So, seeing as how it was time for us to scoot away, we headed to San Diego. We first went to the Museum of Man, and enjoyed their "Discover Egypt" exhibit. Our hotel was very family friendly, and had a separate bedroom where the kids slept, and Ben and I slept in the living room (where we pulled the sofa sleeper mattress onto the floor). They had their own private beach area on Mission Bay, which had no waves, and was perfect for the kids to swim around in. We also got to go to the San Diego Zoo, which was SOO much fun! We checked out the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center, and saw the IMAX film about Hubble. We also went to the Natural History Museum and the Creation Museum on the way home. It was an amazing trip, one that I hope will provide some great memories for the kids. The Creation Museum was so amazing... I have some great pictures, but it would take me three days to load them onto the blog, so I may choose one or two.

P.S.-If you are studying Ancient Egypt, you MUST READ "God King". It is so good, we all enjoyed it, and it was even more amazing to go back and read the Biblical account in 2 Kings and see how the author kind of "tweaked" things a little by weaving in history.

Beach House:

What mom of four kids 7 and under ever gets to go away for two nights??? Well, my dear husband took off work so that I could join some amazing women from our homeschool co-op at a beach house. Right on the beach at Faria. We had such a great time. The Lord saw my heart, and heard my prayers... I had been aching a bit for some women who are a little further down this road of mothering and homeschooling than I am. It was so fun to get to know these women, and to really step into their lives in a deeper way. We prayed for each other, we worked out together, we ate together, and we laughed together. It was such a special time, and I can't wait to invest some more into relationships with these women. =) Thank you, Jesus!!

Exchange Conference:

So, another reason that my hubby took work off, was so that he could attend the Exchange Conference in San Diego. Mark Driscoll, and Frances Chan, among others were speaking. We had originally intended to go together, but instead Ben was going to go represent us!! However, at the last minute, he decided that he wouldn't go. They will be offering the content online soon (hopefully), and this way, we can watch it together and talk about it. He decided instead to use the time to really get alone and seek the Lord. It is amazing how little we do this, and how much we really need it. It turned out to be a really great time for him, and God really showed up in a clear way, offering some direction for him right now. So, I am just praising God, knowing that He meets us so intimately, with perfect timing, and knows just what we need. It was so neat as well, because I read this in my book I am finishing up the morning that Ben had left, and was able to text it to him:

"It is important that we get still to wait on God. And it is best that we get alone, preferably with our Bible outspread before us. Then if we will we may draw near to God and begin to hear Him speak to us in our hearts. I think for the average person the progression will be something like this: First a sound as of a Presence walking in the garden. Then a Voice, more intelligible, but still far from clear. Then the happy moment when the Spirit begins to illuminate the Scriptures, and that which had been only a sound, or at best a voice, now becomes an intelligible word, warm and intimate and clear as the word of a dear friend. Then will come life and light, and best of all, ability to see and rest in and embrace Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord and All." --A. W. Tozer

Graduation:

We got together with a few other families, and did a small "graduation." Emma read Psalm 1, which she had memorized, but was "too scared" to recite it, so she read it instead. Caleb sang "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." Noah sang Psalm 119:11. Emma and two other little girls sang Jesus loves me. They got little certificates for their hard work and diligence. It was a wonderful time, such a blessing.

Some of this is on facebook, but I have to record it here, for my own records:

Reading Exodus chapter 10, Caleb asked me, "Mom, why did the LORD harden Pharaoh's heart?"

And the answer came in chapter 11: "So that my wonders may be multiplied in Egypt."

Did I already post about the All-Sufficient One? I can't remember....(this happened awhile ago!!)

So, my girlfriend does chapel for the little ones, and they were going through the names of God. She was telling me how "All-Sufficient One" is kind of a tough concept to communicate to little people!! A few days later, we were reading about an Egyptian idol, and the priest had to come in every day and wash him, and put clothes on him, and set food in front of him. And, right there, (through tears!!) I am telling the kids...This is what our God does for us!!! He washes us in His Word, and He clothes us in the Righteousness of Christ, and He feeds us the Bread of Life and gives us Living Water!! He is the All-Sufficient One!!

I cannot tell you how many amazing conversations I have gotten to have with the kiddos. It is a crazy life, for sure, but I am so privileged to get to spend time with them, reading God's Word and studying His work throughout time. He is so good!!

(Sorry, the pictures aren't loading, so no pics this time, but hopefully soon!)

Oh, and I almost forgot!! Noah read his first little Sing, Spell (Level K) reader. Not many words, mostly, "Dad ran fast." But, very exciting, none-the-less. =)

Hard Lessons...

2010-05-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

So, I want to say upfront that this will be a difficult post. I want to acknowledge openly that I don't know how to be politically correct, so I apologize in advance for any offense. And, I am open to learning. I just want to share our story and what we learned....

So, about a month or so ago, we invited some friends over. This family has a little girl with special needs. When I told the kids they were coming, they had a little bit of a hard time, because the little girl often hits them. We had a good talk about being kind and loving, setting a good example, and forgiving quickly.

Emma was coloring, and the little girl scribbled on her paper. Now, Emma is pretty serious about her artwork, so she came to me crying, because she was going to have to start all over. I held her, and told her that sometimes, it is hard for Mommy too. Sometimes, I work really, really hard, and I get the kitchen all clean. And just as I am finishing, a little person comes in and spills yogurt on the floor and gets everything dirty and I have to start all over. That is really, really hard. But I do it, because I love our family so much, and I want them to have a clean kitchen where we can eat and make food. I asked her if she thought that she could love our little friend, and be willing to start over in order to be a good friend to her. I prayed with her, for the Holy Spirit to help her to forgive, and to start a new picture.

You know, it is not always easy as a mom to watch your kid get hit. But, as I sat and listened to my friend, and heard a little bit about her life, I felt so much pain and empathy for the great deal that she has "on her plate". It is really difficult to parent a child with special needs. Parenting is hard enough. It was just really good for all of us to spend the day, trying to be compassionate towards others. To bear with others, even if it's painful. And so, Emma had to start her picture over, and all of the kids got hit a few times and screamed at. And, at the end of the day, I honestly felt like God opened up a door in my heart that had never been opened before. As we had our family devotions, we had some amazing discussion that night about compassion, about kindness, about forgiveness. And we all learned that sometimes we take for granted how easy it is to befriend those that are like us. It is more challenging to befriend those who are different than us. But many times, it is more rewarding as well.

"But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you?.... But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful." Luke 6:27-36

To my seven year old...

2010-05-10T10:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Emma,

This past week you turned seven. I can't believe it was seven years ago, that your tiny little baby body was born, and we first met you and fell in love with you. You have such a sweet heart, and a sweet spirit. Just a few minutes ago, you ran out to tell me that you were in your room singing to "the Lord Jesus Christ!"

You love to read, especially the Little House books. You love your cuddlies (stuffed animals), and you treat them just like your own little children. You LOVE to swim!! You enjoy riding your bike, and your scooter, and hiking. Recently, at our women's gathering at church, you started "helping" in the 3 year old class, and you LOVE being a helper. You always want to help, whether it's making dinner, making cards, making someone smile, or keeping an eye on Ezra. You love hearing stories about... well, anything, but especially about when you were little, or mommy or daddy or grandma were little. So, here is a story that I will remember on every birthday, and many other times as well.

It was May 5th, 2003. Your daddy and I were anxiously awaiting your arrival. We had just less than three weeks until your due date. We had set up your room with a crib, and a dresser, with beautiful purple and green bedding. We had a cradle set up right near my side of the bed, and a chair in our room so that I could nurse you at night. My tummy was so big, and most of the rest of me was pretty big too!! During my pregnancy, I had already had two dreams that you were a girl, and that your name was Emma, so after the ultrasound told us that you were a girl, we knew we would name you Emma Faith.

That day, we had a doctor's appointment to check on how things were going. The doctor had said that you were very, very low inside of me, and that I was dilated about 2 cm. He wanted an ultrasound, to check on the level of amniotic fluid, to make sure I wasn't leaking fluid, and to see that you were still okay inside mommy's tummy. So, off we went over to the office where they did our ultrasounds. I was so excited to see you!! As we were watching the computer screen, I noticed that the Ultrasound Technician seemed to be shaking my belly, and his face looked very concerned. He asked us if we lived in Ventura, and we said that we lived in Ojai. He said that he would like us to head back over to the doctor's office, but would not tell us anymore. I remember very clearly going into the restroom, for a moment to myself. I remember holding my tummy and the tears came so quickly, and my heart hurt very badly. I hadn't met you yet, but I already loved you with all my heart. I wanted so badly to hold you in my arms, and to know that you were okay. But things didn't seem well. I knew that you weren't moving very much inside of me by the way the Ultrasound Technician had been shaking my stomach, trying to get you to move. That was the first moment that I ever thought, "What if something has happened to my baby girl?"

And yet, that was a defining moment in my life. God's grace was abundant, and tangible. I felt Him say clearly to my heart, that you didn't belong to me. You were a treasured gift, entrusted to me, but you forever belong to the God who knit you together inside of me. And in that moment, I was scared, but I knew that my God is good. You belong to Him, my dear, sweet, baby girl.

We headed back to the doctor's office, where they told us that we needed to head to the hospital, because we were going to have a baby sooner than we planned. You actually came the next morning, at 10:04 am, on May 6th, 2003. And, you were tiny, and precious, and amazing.

And so, every day that I have to be your mom is a treasured gift. I am just a vessel, entrusted with your care. You belong to the God who created everything, who sustains everything, and treasures you more fully than even I can understand. I love you, dear Emma Faith Hester. Every day with you is a gift.

Mommy

Catching Up

2010-04-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, I just might be the worst blogger ever!!! But, sometimes, you just don't have time to blog. Life is crazy, but wonderful. Let's see... in a nutshell.... we all got sick, then I threw out my back again, and after repeated visits to the chiropractor, I am back to functioning!! Thank you Jesus!! My Thursday Bible Study is finished for now, and I went to the women's retreat with my church. Experienced some pretty gnarly, yet amazing things in relation to prayer and spiritual warfare. Read a lot of books (which I will list here, and try to briefly summarize). School is going well, I had made lesson plans for the next month or so, and I am already behind. But, that's okay, we are plugging along. The kids began to learn Latin, which I know, makes people think we are crazy. But, it literally consists of them singing wonderfully silly songs, and they are enjoying themselves immeasurably. The goal of teaching them a dead language, (yes I do know it is dead...), is that since it is a root language, we want them to be able to learn any language, and we hope this may be a small help in that. But, it's really just great fun. =)

The reading list:

We finished: The Golden Goblet (historical fiction set in the time of Ancient Egypt). The whole family enjoyed it, and we had some great discussions as we came across many references to Egyptian gods, spirits, and the afterlife. (How is this different from what the Bible tells us is true?)

We are currently reading: Shadow Hawk (same time period, Ancient Egypt after the Hyksos Invasion). Very interesting...we are past the half way mark. It is a little more difficult of a read, but it picks up at about half way, and now we can't wait to hear the ending!!!

The Whipping Boy-a small reader book about a Prince (Prince Brat) who is never punished, but his punishment instead falls upon the whipping boy, a beggar boy who receives the whippings accumulated by the prince. (The kids could actually just read this on their own, in about 20 minutes, but we are taking it slow, and using it for prompting writing in their Story Journals)

I finished: Big God by Britt Merrick- sermon series on Hebrews, turned into a book. Really awesome. He gives practical ways to really live out a life a faith.

Don't Make Me Count to Three!! by Ginger Plowman-- a "mommy" book... following closely along the lines of "Shepherding a Child's Heart", but easy to read, and with many practical mommy examples.

When He is Come by A.W. Tozer-- (I borrowed this from my good friend Ruth). This is a really powerful little book about the Holy Spirit. The timing was perfect, and needless to say, this book had me from the title of the first chapter, "Don't Beg God for the Holy Spirit--Glorify Jesus Christ!!!

Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala-- I know, I'm a little late on this one. It's been out for a long time, and I am just now reading it! But, this is a really easy read, super awesome. I had to stop in the middle of reading it just to pray some more!!! A really moving account of the power of prayer, and our great need to connect with the living God through prayer.

"God will manifest himself in direct proportion to our passion for him."-pg. 153

The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller--Amazing insight into the parable of the "prodigal son" (although the author would much prefer the title, "the parable of the two lost sons.") Awesome. A must read, especially for those who have grown up in church. The gospel just screams out of this book.

Reading now:

Raising Children God's Way by Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones-- He was a preacher back in the 60's-70's, and this is a collection of his sermons on Ephesians 6. So far, it's been great, I am a little more than halfway.

Scandalous by D.A. Carson--I have some other books in my reading line-up, but with it being the time of Easter, and all, I could not resist diving into this book since it is centered on the cross and resurrection of Jesus. So far, it has been really amazing.

And in other news... Ben will be coming up on a schedule change. The night shift/day shift, finally took its toll on the guy. So, he's going to day shift starting April 14th. Upon looking at the end of the month, we found that, since there's a men's retreat in April, Ben will either be working or gone to the retreat from the 14th until the end of the month. (He has to work one weekend every 7 weeks, and they started him out by working the weekend.) But, at least it will be shorter days. I won't lie, my heart was bummed when I actually saw that on the calendar, but I am praying and trusting God, because He is faithful, and He will work it all out. =)

Praising Him...

2010-03-07T21:53:00.001-08:00

I know, it's been crazy. We've been sick, and we traveled to Strathmore, CA for a funeral for Ben's grandma this past week, and Ben is on night shift. This is usually when I catch up on blogging. Not to mention the Perspectives reading, and all the other books I am trying to read. I finished "Big God" tonight, which is a book by Britt Merrick, one of the pastors at Reality (our Church). (More on that later!)

But, really quickly, I wanted to share the praise that is overflowing from my heart today. Three weeks ago, something crazy happened. My brother, my baby brother, went to Las Vegas and got married. Now, for those of you who don't know the background, I will give the brief version, only for the sake of sharing what God has done. Because it is good. My brother is divorced, with two young kids, ages 3 and 5. This has needless to say been a very painful thing for everyone involved, but the divorce has been final for a year, or two??? (My memory fails me tonight). Anyhow, my brother and his kids started coming to church with us... sometime in November or December?? And, shortly thereafter, a "friend" was coming with him, but I would see her there even when my brother couldn't make it. Anyhow, the point is, that the two of them went to Vegas and got married. And, there are so many details, so much left out here, but all you need to know to get where I'm at is... Today, I am in church, standing next to my brother and his wife as they worship Jesus. My brother's heart is more fully turned toward Jesus than it ever has been. And this woman next to him, his wife, is praising Jesus, and they now have three kids (she has a daughter), and they shop at Sam's Club, and they give the kids showers and put them to bed, and they love the Lord. And so a single mom gained a husband, and a single dad gained a wife... and all I can do is cry and weep, and praise the beauty of His name, because He is so good. And even now, the tears are falling, because there aren't enough words to say how good and beautiful and wonderful He is. And the most beautiful thing is that this is not just their story. This is my story, and everyone's story who calls Jesus their Savior. The Jesus Storybook Bible said it this way in our reading tonight (oh, yes, I was crying then too!!):

"'My body is like the bread. It will break,' Jesus told them. 'This cup of wine is like my blood. It will pour out.'

'But this is how God will rescue the whole world. My life will break and God's broken world will mend. My heart will tear apart--and your hearts will heal. Just as the passover lamb died, so now I will die instead of you. My blood will wash away all of your sins. And you'll be clean on the inside--in your hearts.'"

Oh Jesus, you are so good...

Haiti Video-(Team that went last week)

2010-03-07T21:52:00.000-08:00

Josh Newton Haiti Video from HESCHLE on Vimeo.

Ten Years!!

2010-02-10T22:19:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is our 10 year Anniversary. It's so hard to believe that ten years has gone by, and boy, has it gone quickly!! These were some of my favorite photos (I tried to limit the photos of just the kids). We have had many adventures these last ten years. I wrote along letter about it, but decided it would be just for my hubby. But, here's the short video of photos I made for him, I am not a pro at this, but just thought it would be nice to look back on some of these things. (hopefully, it will load for you, but it may take a while!!)

The song playing in the background played at our wedding.

In the last ten years, we have

laughed

cried

prayed

worshipped

sinned

forgiven

obeyed

disobeyed

repented

rejoiced

And so much more...

I can honestly say that I love my husband more than I did ten years ago.

And I love Jesus more than I did ten years ago.

And I will say that again in ten more years, if He should give them to us.

Praise You, Jesus.

Oh Father... thank you so much for these last ten years with my husband. Thank you for how how much our marriage has taught me about You, and Your faithful love, Your never-stopping, never-giving up love. Teach me Lord, to be a good helper for Ben, more and more with every year you give us. May our marriage reflect You, and Your tender love for Your bride!!

The perfect Servant-Leader

2010-02-09T23:20:00.000-08:00

"Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Him, saying, 'Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask.'"

(These are the words a Master would use, not servants!!!)

"And He said to them, 'What do you want Me to do for you?'"

Mark 10:35-36

Jesus, the perfect Servant-Leader. He is so good, so kind, so gracious. I am not nearly as gracious to the little people who constantly speak to me with the words a Master would use.

Oh Lord, make this the attitude of my heart!! May the words, "What do you want me to do for you?" come quickly to my lips and my heart... to the little ones who make demands of me, and most importantly, to You, my Lord. When I sense the movement of Your Spirit, may I be quick to be Your servant, and to not think of myself as a master.

Prayers for Haiti

2010-01-21T14:24:00.000-08:00

I don't have much time, but I also don't want to forget. So I am going to pound out this post real quick!!

Bible Study Thursday mornings that I attend with some of the ladies from Reality...

Leader=Joy

Her husband is the head of the Board for Child Hope International, an orphanage in Haiti.

Here's a link, awesome story how they started. At the top of the page is a link to read updates on the earthquake in Haiti:

www.childhope.org

Bill and Suzette=the couple who started the orphanage, due to a vision and a mission that God set within the heart of their nine year old daughter. She is now 17, here is a link to her blog, it is worth reading!!!

http://ari-haitilife.blogspot.com/

As we have been praying as a family for Haiti, I have been blown away at the Holy Spirit's work in the kids' hearts...

"Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants you have established strength.." Ps. 8:2

Caleb's Prayer:

"Dear God, please help the people of Haiti to stop worshiping idols."

Emma's Prayer:

"Dear God, please don't let the people of Haiti die in their sin, but help them to believe in Jesus and be saved."

We asked the kids to pray with us, because the people of Haiti are in need of food, and water and medical supplies. There are needs EVERYWHERE you look... and yet, the greatest need in Haiti is the greatest need of every man, woman, and child... to have the wrath of God removed from them through the precious blood of Jesus.

They are seeing an increase in violence, as resources become scarce, distribution is unorganized, and people become desperate and feel hopeless. We have heard MANY stories of miracles, too many even for me to share here. God is making His name known!! Pray for the faithful servants of Jesus, that they would not lose hope. Pray for protection, for provision, for God's grace and mercy. Pray that God would continue to make His people distinct, as they give all praise and glory to Him, that others too would be drawn to the One True God!!

Please join with me in praying this Psalm for those in Haiti:

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh,

My enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell.

Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear;

Though war may rise against me, in this I will be confident.

One things I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion;

In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me;

He shall set me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;

Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;

I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice!

Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When You said, "Seek My face,"

My heart said to You, "Your face, Lord, I will seek."

Do not hide Your face from me; Do not turn Your servant away in anger;

You have been my help; Do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation.

When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me.

Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me in a smooth path,

because of my enemies.

Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;

For false witnesses have risen against me,

And such breathe out violence.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed

that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the Lord!

I love this book!!

2010-01-11T17:48:00.000-08:00

This was a reader that the kids read for school work. They each read it in about...twenty minutes, maybe less. There aren't a lot of words on each page. But man, it is amazing. I loved it. (67 pages)

This is the book synopsis from amazon.com:
Other people crowded into the house, and Kuri heard them whispering. "Look what happened to him. Surely he is being punished."

Kuri's eyes flew open in alarm.

Kuri's father has planted their yams without praying to the spirits. The Head Men insist that the yams must be planted in the right way, but Father declares, "God is mighty," and he continues to plant their garden in the name of Jesus Christ.

Kuri can't help wondering whether the Head Men are right. Are the spirits punishing him and his family? If the yams don't grow, what will they eat? Does he dare to be like Father and trust only in God? The day comes at last when Kuri must decide.

"Behold, God is mighty, and despiseth not any: he is mighty in strength and wisdom." Job 36:5